nearby. Bran could see her red hair and the easy fall of her chest. From the time he had first seen her in Dryvyd Wood, to riding with his hands about her waist, to staring at her across the table at the Seelie Court meeting, Bran was falling for her. He had never felt like this. Sadly, it was obvious she favored the knight for a reason Bran could not fathom. The way she looked at Richard when he wasn’t aware could not be denied. It couldn’t be how he treated her. The death of his wife had destroyed him. It had to be something else, something Bran was not.
“Becoming a knight won’t help you woo her,” Richard said, as if reading his thought.
“That is not the reason I do this!”
“Isn’t it?”
“I won’t let more blood spill at my account,” Bran said, turning the conversation away from Deirdre and gripping the box like a lifeline. “She has nothing to do with it. Will you help me or not?”
“I will,” Richard murmured. “If you are truly set on this.”
“Merle knew,” Bran whispered. “He knew it would come to this.”
“No,” Richard said stoically. “Merle knew the possibility could unfold. It is you and you alone who make this choice. You can turn away right now, leave it behind, forget it.”
“Can Kegan forget his son?” Bran said bitterly. “Can I?”
“No. I suppose not.”
“Unlike you, I want to be responsible for myself,” Bran said. “Right now I am no better than you on the street, asking for a free ticket, hoping others will take care of me while they foot the bill. No longer.”
“That’s it, huh?”
“I have to own my part in all of this. It is the only way.”
“There is more for you to hear,” Richard growled low, the dying embers of the fire mirrored in his eyes. “What you plan goes beyond responsibility into martyrdom. Once, long ago, the Church existed to educate and build safe communities, where people watched out for their neighbor in a savage world. This is true of Christianity, Catholicism, Islam, Buddhism—all of them. For centuries Christians mingled with Muslims who traded with Buddhists, and peace was maintained through mutual respect.
“But somewhere along the way, the relationships people held with other God-fearing people took on new, selfish undertones. Religion became something to fight over, despite the explicit instructions within doctrines to the contrary. Meaning and peace gave way to greed and fear. Hundreds of wars have been fought over it. The influence of religion is the main culprit for much of the death in our world. The Pope, his Cardinals, and even Archbishop Glenallen crave power and hope to see their Church expand and grow, just as Saint Peter ordered of them through the Vigilo. They are no better than Philip Plantagenet, extreme in their own beliefs.”
“What is your poin—” Bran started.
“Let me finish,” Richard said. “If you choose to take on the mantle of the Heliwr, you will have to walk a fine line between all of them—and maintain the balance between them and Annwn. The power you will possess will not be your power alone but that of two worlds—needed by two worlds. All will try to use you to their advantage, just like they tried with your father. Is that something you truly want? Can you even comprehend what I am saying?”
“I don’t know,” Bran admitted, his anger subsiding. “But I cannot keep relying on you. On others.”
“You are bent on this then?”
“I am. You convinced me. How do I become the Heliwr?”
“As I told you back in the Cadarn, I have no idea.”
Bran opened the box. The silver outline of the Paladr winked. He took it out and held it in his hand. The Paladr was warm, the edges of the acorn-like seed smooth against his palm. He hoped he was making the right choice.
The earlier whisper came again, a tickle of sentience.
Away. Upward.
“It wants me to go up into the mountains,” Bran said, surprised by the voice.
Richard undid his blankets as if to rise. “I’ll come with you.”
“No,” Bran said. “I will do this alone.”
“I see,” Richard said simply, lying back down.
“If I don’t return by morning…”
“I will come looking for you, yes,” Richard offered. He sighed. “Good luck, boy. I can no more tell you what to do than the Church should. I hope you know what you are doing.”
Bran looked to where he knew the uppermost fringes of the mountains existed. He saw nothing. Fog swallowed the entirety of the Snowdon