few moments, Everle and Vay. You too, Snedeker. I must speak in earnest with my wayward daughter. Alone.”
Giving Deirdre a dark look, the fairy flew from the tent along with the Long Hand warriors.
“Deirdre, you tax me all too often,” Lord Gerallt growled.
“You are not telling me everything,” she said. “You are never like this. There is something eating at you and I would know what it is.”
Lord Gerallt took a deep breath and looked away. Long moments passed. Deirdre waited, knowing she didn’t have a choice, but her father also had a habit of taking his time in formulating his words when they held import. As she watched, though, the man she had known all of her life changed from a confident military commander preparing for the worst battle he would likely ever be in to a man almost defeated and ashamed, wearing a mantle of hardship Deirdre rarely saw.
“Whatever it is, it cannot be horrible,” she encouraged.
“After John Lewis Hugo met you at the Rosemere, he came to find me within the castle,” Lord Gerallt said, taking a deep breath. “We spoke. At length. It will not please you to hear this but I gave him my oath you would be brought to Caer Llion to marry.”
“I knew that, father.”
“Even if it went against your wishes,” he added.
The support she had brought with her vanished. Deirdre didn’t know what to say. In all the years she had looked up to her father, especially after the death of her mother, she now felt she didn’t know him. At no time had he disrespected her in such a way.
It left her feeling hollow.
“You gave me no choice?” she asked. “You lied to me?”
“It was the only way to ensure our safety,” he said, still barely able to look at her. “When you spoke to the shade of your mother and grew adamant we visit Arendig Fawr, I didn’t believe the Seelie Court would rise again. I thought the only way to prevent death for our people would be to take the honorable path for all of the lives we oversee—and knowingly upset you most as a result, my daughter.” He paused. “I am ashamed by my actions. I was wrong to speak on your behalf.”
“How is taking the honorable path right?” Deirdre demanded, her disbelief replaced by wrath. “You betrayed my heart!”
“I regret not telling you sooner,” he said. “But now things have changed. I can no longer play both sides. And the innocent people of Mochdrev Reach may pay the price for it.”
Deirdre bit back a furious reply. She did not know what to think. In her mind, she knew her father had a difficult role to play in Annwn, one that required making difficult decisions. In her very depths though, she felt deceived by the man who had been her foundation for so many years.
When he had seemed so behind her for the last few days.
“You love him, do you not?” Lord Gerallt asked suddenly. “The knight, I mean?”
“I do,” she stammered, unable to hide her surprise. “I…cannot explain it. Richard McAllister is like no one else I have ever met. How did you know?”
“I may be old and fat but I’m not blind, Deirdre.”
Embarrassment overrode her anger, but only for a moment.
“Would he tell you to protect the many?” Lord Gerallt continued. “Or do what made you happy?”
“He would never advocate being untrue to myself.”
“Are you sure?” he asked sadly. “Why do you think he is so dark, Deirdre? I know his kind, all too well. Men become like him by betraying the deepest chambers of their hearts with selfishness. He is ashamed of his life in some way.” He paused. “I did not want to be like McAllister, to destroy a part of myself or the love I have for you. Guilt will follow me to the end of my days, despite not fulfilling my oath to Caer Llion. For that, I apologize, and shall be judged accordingly in the afterlife. It is McAllister’s role to give up his life to protect the lives of millions between our two worlds. I am sure he would tell you to do the noble thing as well.”
The knight would at that, no matter how much it galled her.
“I know why you did it, even if I do not agree,” Deirdre said. “I guess we both have lied to one another these last days.”
“Your mother had a saying,” he said. “‘Forgive love its transgressions, for it forgives just as readily.’”