Dark Possession - Aja James Page 0,46
the way beyond these thick, oak doors as I was passing by. I believe it’s caused by your exposure to phallus elephantas, a rare incompatibility disorder of a sexual nature.”
Ramses broke into a fit of hacking coughs to cover up his surprised bark of laughter.
The vampire queen narrowed her eyes with suspicion.
“You’re making this up.”
Eveline rounded her own eyes innocently.
“If only it were true, my lady,” she deplored. “But the signs don’t lie. Can’t you smell the fishy foul odor in the air?”
Even as she spoke, the stink of rotten fish wafted around them, its center of gravity concentrated around the queen’s impeccably attired person.
Ramses couldn’t help but scoot a foot away on the sofa.
“I-I- this is ridiculous!” Valentina exclaimed, even as she squeezed her arms to her sides and shrank her body into a tight ball on the couch, as if this would help reduce the emission of noxious fumes.
“The next to go are your lips. They puff up like a blowfish. So swollen they block your nostrils from taking in air.”
As Eveline spoke, the queen’s full, red lips began to swell, expanding until they indeed took up half her face.
“Rrrggg ccannnntttt breaeeeee!”
“What’s that? You can’t breathe? Well I told you, didn’t I?” Eveline said unhelpfully, standing over the other woman as Valentina shrank further into the couch cushions.
“You have to hold your lips apart with your hands and breathe through your mouth,” she instructed.
Valentina hastened to do so and gulped in oxygen while drooling uncontrollably.
“Now listen to me carefully,” Eveline said in a raspy voice that would frighten grown men. “If you do exactly as I say, you might still be able to be cured.”
The Thirteen Stars queen nodded vigorously, weeping openly, tears streaming down her flushed cheeks.
“You must go home straightaway and stay in bed for three days and nights.”
More vigorous nodding.
“Every morning when you go to sleep and every night when you wake, stick a straw in there and drink exactly two quarts of crushed beetle juice.”
“Bwweeetttlll juuuuu….!”
“Dung beetle, to be precise.”
Valentina’s eyes grew so large, her eyeballs were on the verge of falling out.
Eveline nodded with emphasis.
“Beetle juice. Then, you have to make a mask out of the dung itself and cover your entire face with it. I’ll give you the recipe. You must lie flat in bed with the mask on your face all day, even when you sleep.”
The queen was sobbing uncontrollably now, clearly hysterical.
Ramses winced, debating whether and how to intervene.
But Eveline wasn’t done.
“This last part is most important, pay close attention.”
She slapped—actually slapped—the vampire queen’s cheek to ensure that the female concentrated on her every word, even though Valentina couldn’t possibly have looked away, downright terrorized as she was.
“Never, never, look upon, touch, smell, or in any way, shape or form, come into contact with phallus elephantas again.”
Eveline jabbed a furious finger in the direction of Ramses’ crotch.
Ramses forbore to point out that said phallus elephantas wasn’t quite as elephantas as it normally was in these situations. Probably cowed by Eveline’s dire threats just like the vampire queen was.
Valentina nodded again, blubbering all the while.
“It’s a good thing I got here when I did. A moment too late and you would be forever stuck with those lips. You’d have to surgically remove them from your face.”
More disconsolate blubbering.
Eveline reached over to pat the queen as if she were a small child.
“There, there. I know you’re scared. If you do as I say right away, you can still overcome this exposure.”
The queen shuddered with relief.
Until Eveline said, “But be sure to fulfill your part of the bargain with Ramses. I might not recall the correct dung patty recipe if you don’t. And you wouldn’t want to be stuck with this condition indefinitely, would you?”
Vigorous shaking of the head.
“Just so,” Eveline soothed. “I know you’re a woman of your word. I will keep mine as well.”
She pulled Valentina to her feet and shoved her none too gently toward the doors.
“Hurry. Time is of the essence. Once you fulfill your bargain, I will send you the dung recipe.”
“Rwwrddjjjjkkkrrrrrr!” the queen gurgled in a panic as Eveline pushed her out the doors.
“You have five days before this becomes permanent. Plenty of time. Run along now, and best of luck!”
With that, Eveline slammed the doors shut with a resounding bang.
And turned slowly towards Ramses.
As their eyes met, he had one fleeting thought:
Flames.
Her irises were lit with flames.
And, like a pyromaniac, he couldn’t look away.
Even if the inferno burned him to a crisp.
“Beasts are fierce and passionate,