have reached out and touched her, given her the comfort she so obviously needed, but he knew she would have rejected him, so he stayed very still. Waiting. Forcing her to think about it. Put her reasoning into words. It took longer than he anticipated.
“I didn’t get these scars the way you got yours, fighting valiantly to save the world. I got them in a vile, demeaning way. Strung up by my wrists.” She rubbed them as though they still hurt. “In front of his class, whipped until I was bleeding from deep wounds, deep enough to cause scars. At the same time my body was being forced into enjoying sex. It was humiliating. I can barely stand to look at those memories let alone know they’re etched into my body.”
“Julija,” he said softly. Reprimanding her. “You do not think you earned every scar? That you were not valiantly fighting in your way to save the innocents they wanted you to murder? Your father set you up deliberately to be torn down by Barnabas. When you did not break, they took it further, hurting you, humiliating you, and you still did not break. I would say each and every scar you received is a badge proclaiming your unbelievable courage. You should rejoice in them. I would. I know, when you allow me to see them, I will worship these scars, knowing you held out against the dark arts trying to manipulate you. Few can say that, Julija. Very few.”
“Did you hear me say they used my own body against me?” she murmured softly, her gaze not meeting his.
He remained silent, waiting until she had no choice but to look at him. There was so much pain in her eyes he winced. “I heard. That makes what you did even more courageous. They did not defeat you. Barnabas getting your body to react doesn’t mean anything more than he was skilled at what he did. He wasn’t strong enough to break you. Wear your scars with pride, sívamet. Your courage humbles me. Believe me, if you allow your lifemate to see them, I will love every inch of you, but those scars will be sacred to me.”
Isai meant every word and he wanted her to know that he did. He caught her chin and looked her in the eye. “Come into my mind,” he invited softly. “See how much I admire and respect my lifemate.”
She hesitated just for a moment, and then, her eyes staring into his, he felt her pouring into his mind. She came gently, a hesitant presence, filling him with her feminine beauty. She filled the darkness in him with light.
He savored the feeling of her. The way she was inside, all that strength and power, tempered with compassion and empathy. There was no greed in her. No need to use her gifts for herself. She didn’t have selfish thoughts about acquiring wealth. She didn’t want to harm others. She definitely wanted to reacquire the spell book, but not for her own gain. She knew quite a bit about the book, more than he thought most Carpathians, including the prince, knew.
He opened his mind to her a little further. He was dark and shadowed, but her light spilled inside him, warmed those cold places and took every vestige of loneliness from him. He didn’t try to hide from her. He had admitted to being a killing machine. He had vast knowledge in most subjects, but he had learned in an effort to be a better hunter. She would either accept him as he was, or she wouldn’t.
He felt her moving through his memories. Lingering over some, hastily retreating from others. He knew the moment she found the memories in the monastery. She stayed there for far too long, but those times were the ones where he had sent every message into the universe, unashamedly begging for his woman to be in this time period but feeling there was little hope.
He had, like the others, times over those long years of being too close to the demon, but his brethren had stood with him. Chanting. Olen wäkeva—félért ku vigyázak. Hours of chanting. Stay strong for her. She had saved him over and over. So many times. Julija had saved his honor.
She left him after a long while and when he looked at her face, tears tracked down her cheeks. Her lashes were wet and dripped diamond-like tears. He reached out tentatively, but she didn’t flinch, so he touched her