Darius the Great Deserves Better - Adib Khorram Page 0,76
just be harder tomorrow?”
That was the thing about mental health days. Sometimes, you needed them, and they got you back on your feet. But sometimes, when you said you wanted a mental health day, what you really meant was you were avoiding something, and the more you put it off, the bigger it got.
“Maybe,” I admitted.
I hadn’t told Mom much about the dance.
Just that I had gotten into a fight with Landon.
And another one with Chip.
“Well, if you need to stay home, you can. You have some time to decide. I’ll check on you before I leave for work.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She kissed my forehead.
“Love you.”
* * *
I guess Mom’s talk worked, because I dragged myself out of bed and got ready.
I spent the day avoiding Chip. We had an evening game, and I needed to study—I had a test in German on Friday—but I knew I couldn’t go to Mindspace.
There was a public library a few blocks away. I found a table in this little nook, not far from the Kids Korner, which was full of little kids enjoying story time.
There was this cute toddler in pink overalls. I wiggled my fingers at them. The polish on my left index finger had chipped. I needed to learn how to take better care of my nails.
The kid returned a little flappy-handed wave and then ran off.
It made me think of Evie, and how she had been so comfortable around me.
Was she that way with Uncle Trent too?
And then I thought of Chip, and how I had been so comfortable around him.
I should never have let my guard down.
That’s what stung more than anything else.
I knew the kind of guy Chip was, but I imagined him the way I wanted him to be.
I was so disappointed in myself.
* * *
Like always, Coach Bentley summoned us to circle up before the game. I sandwiched myself between Diego and Bruno, far away from Chip, who was over by Gabe and Jaden like usual. Jaden gave me a look, but I pretended not to notice.
I also pretended not to notice Chip trying to catch my eye.
And I definitely did not notice that his hair, usually pristine even after a long school day, was a complete and utter mess. Or the way the corners of his mouth drooped, almost into a frown, instead of his usual pre-game grin.
As we went around, I couldn’t come up with anything to say. I totally blanked.
Bruno said, “At homecoming, Christian gave me some gum when I was nervous about my breath not smelling fresh. Thanks, Christian. Heather thanks you too.”
Everyone chuckled at that, but I just felt a kind of twist in my gut.
“Uh.” It was my turn. “I’m blanking. Sorry. Um.”
I felt the weight of everyone’s eyes on me.
“I had kind of a crappy weekend. But I’m glad for tonight’s game, and the chance to go do something. So, thanks for tonight, everyone.”
Some of the guys nodded, but others looked at me kind of curiously, or turned to their neighbors like they wanted to gossip. But Coach Bentley said, “Glad we can be here for you, Darius,” and the whispers stopped.
Diego thanked me, of all people, for lending him a pair of socks last week, which I had completely forgotten about. “Sure thing.”
And on we went.
When we got to Chip, he said, “Darius told me something I didn’t want to hear. But I know I needed to. So, thanks.”
I looked up at that, but Chip had his eyes squeezed shut, like he was afraid of what was going to happen.
So I looked down at my feet and said, “I’m glad I could help.”
My heart thudded against my sternum, and my ears felt full.
It felt like the whole team was watching us.
But after a second, Jaden spoke up, and the circle continued.
THE MINUTIAE OF MIDFIELDING STRATEGY
Wednesday afternoon, after practice and another carefully executed avoidance of Chip—courtesy of Jaden, who had noticed things were kind of weird and made a point of dragging Chip into a conversation about the minutiae of midfielding strategy—I took the bus to Rose City with a swarm of stellar remnants in my stomach.
I had to do something.
I still couldn’t reach Sohrab, and Dad was still depressed, and things with Chip were weird.
But Landon was there, and we needed to talk.
Besides, Mom needed some Earl Grey (regular, not nitro) and I was running low on Moroccan Mint since Grandma and Oma were drinking so much.
When the bus stopped, I grabbed my bike and walked it toward Rose City.