like the way he ordered her about, demanding she would be his wife.
She hugged herself.
She wished she knew what determined love, how to define it, and why love seemed more complicated than simple.
She had been freed of wedding Tarr; the choice being left entirely to her.
What did she do now?
“What is it you want of me, Fiona?”
Fiona turned as Tarr entered the room and her breath caught in her throat, though she refused to let him see her excitement. It surely had to be love. What else could explain the odd sensation that consumed her every time she saw him? Besides, she was still annoyed with him, but she was happy that he had followed her.
“Do you know?” he asked when he reached her side.
“We agreed to attempt to understand each other—”
“How can I understand you if you do not talk and share your feelings with me?”
“You do not even try to understand my feelings with regards to my sister,” she accused.
“You want me to disregard my decision and appease you?”
“Is that difficult?” she asked. “If it would remove a stumbling block to our being wed, why not?”
“As my wife your duty is to me.”
“That has nothing to do with my sister.”
“You will forever spend time with her,” he argued.
Fiona’s eyes rounded like full moons. “You are jealous of my sister.”
“I am not.”
She smiled and poked at his chest. “You are.”
“You will ignore your duties with Aliss around.”
“Aliss’s healing keeps her busy. You have seen that for yourself.”
“Are you telling me that if I agree to allow Aliss to remain with the Hellewyk clan, you will wed me?”
“No.”
Tarr threw his hands up in the air. “You do not know what you want.”
“I do too,” Fiona said, her hands going to her hips. “I want a man who will love me, allow me to be me, not dictate to me, and will accept my sister. That is not very much to ask.”
“What will you give a husband in return?”
“Love, respect, and devotion.”
Tarr stared at her a moment, then reached out to take her in his arms.
She stepped out of his reach and held her hand out to prevent him from approaching her. “Your touch does not allow me to think rationally.”
He smiled and advanced on her.
“No,” she said firmly, and moved away from him. “It would be easy to get lost in your arms, but I cannot. It is important to me that you understand how I feel.”
“Then the truth of the matter is that I would have to love you if I wish to wed you.”
“I look for true love, not a love you conveniently discover to suit your need.”
He shook his head. “You cannot be serious. If I did love you, how than could I ever convince you of it?”
“That is for you to determine.”
Chapter 20
It was early, the sun having yet to rise, when Fiona crept silently through the keep to emerge in the great hall as a servant added fresh logs to the hearth. The dry logs caught quickly and the fire was soon blazing, sending heat scurrying out into the dank hall.
Fiona cozied up on a bench at a table nearest to the fireplace. She pulled her green wool shawl around her shoulders and knotted it at her breasts to keep warm, then tucked her feet along with the hem of her brown skirt beneath her crossed-legs on the bench.
The servant promised to return with hot cider, letting her know a cold rain fell hard outside and she would do well to remain warm by the fire.
The few of Raynor’s clan she had the opportunity to meet she liked. They seemed hospitable and friendly, though a few warriors regarded her with skeptical glances. She did not blame them, for she would have done the same herself.
Fiona thanked the servant profusely when she placed a steaming tankard of cider in front of her and a wooden bowl piled high with bread that appeared hot from the hearth. A pot of honey was the last item left.
She eagerly reached for a piece of bread and stopped, her hands returning to the heated tankard. She thought herself hungry, but now . . .
Her chaotic thoughts had her stirring all night. She slept little and when she had, it was a restless sleep. Fearing she would disturb her sister with her twisting and turning, she left the bed, dressed, and thought food might ease her anxious state.
Her stomach presently thought otherwise. It rumbled, flip-flopped, and fluttered until she felt as