but that boy needs a family; he needs love. He’s far too young to hold such pain in his eyes.”
She patted me on the arm and walked away to join them in the living room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
He had me.
Some days, I wondered if just friends would ever be enough for us. We friend-zoned each other; well, basically, I friend-zoned him, but he eventually went along with it, which means I’ve tried to date other guys and he still fucked around with some girls, but they never lasted for more than four days. The last one only made it three days; he kicked her to the curb because she called me a bitch for accidentally cockblocking them.
It only made me roll my eyes, but I had never seen Maddox drop a girl so fast. He was pissed, although that was an understatement.
That night when I showed him my scars, we had a moment. Maddox and I had looked at each other a little too long to be just friends. That eye contact was more intimate than any words or touches would ever be. There was something unspoken between us, and in that moment, I almost thought he was going to… kiss me. It was both mixed signals and my own overthinking.
He didn’t kiss me.
I had been both relieved and… disappointed.
Although now that I thought about it, it was better this way. Just friends. He was safe and familiar. Being anything more would ruin what we had, and I wasn’t ready for that.
Our eyes met as I walked into the living room and joined him on the couch. Folding my legs under me, I leaned against his side and sipped my tea. Maddox casually looped his arm behind my shoulders, probably doing it without realizing. His fingers drummed against my biceps as he continued watching the game.
As the football game came to an end, Gran and Pops retired upstairs for the rest of the night. Maddox searched Netflix, and we settled on watching Anabelle. Maddox loved horror movies; I hated them.
“I’ll keep you safe.” He grinned with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
I popped a tiny pretzel in my mouth from the bowl of party mix chips. “Actually, I think you’re going to use this to your advantage to scare me, aren’t you?”
Maddox gave me a half-shrug, but he pressed his lips together to avoid smiling. Jerk.
Halfway through the movie, I realized Maddox was handing me the pretzels and ringolos because those were my favorites while he ate the other chips.
Yeah, it was the little things. I needed my partner in crime. I didn’t need a lover in Maddox. Friends were better than a boyfriend, right? Too much drama came with a relationship. Whatever Maddox and I had, it was safe from any unnecessary drama.
My eyes fluttered close as I fought to stay awake. Before I lost consciousness, I felt his lips brushing against my forehead.
“Sweet dreams, Lila.”
Just friends, I reminded myself.
27
Lila
I stood on the stage, the light in my eyes blinding me for a moment, before I blinked away the blurriness. My gaze found Maddox in the crowd. He was dressed in his graduation cap and gown, a lazy smirk on his lips. He winked, which helped with my nerves.
We were graduating today.
We fucking did it, as Maddox would say.
I shook hands with the Headmaster as he handed me my diploma. My hands trembled, and I smiled as pictures were taken. I walked down the stage, my stomach twisting and feeling beyond exhilarated. I was excited but I also hated having everyone’s attention on me.
This was my dream – everything I had worked my ass off for in the last few years.
I remembered the day I received a white envelope – an envelope that held the fate of my future in it.
“I don’t know… I mean… what if… it could be a… rejection letter,” I stuttered, my heart galloping a mile an hour. “Do… they send out… rejection letters?”
“You’re freaking out, Lila. Calm down,” Maddox said in his smooth voice.
“Calm down?” I screeched. “This,” I waved the envelope at his face, “is everything I ever wanted, and what if it’s not what I think it is?”
He raised his hands up in mock surrender, and I plopped back on my bed. My whole body was shaking. “I can’t open it, Maddox.”
“Lila,” he started.
“No, I can’t.” My stomach twisted with nausea. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
“Lila, I don’t think they send out rejection letters.” Maddox rubbed a