end of our love. It was the first sentence, the paragraph, the page of our incomplete story.
The blue in his eyes darkened, and I memorized every speck in them. Eyes that I could drown in, and I guess… I did. Blue eyes that were the first thing I noticed when I bumped into him in that coffee shop, almost five years ago. It was his… eyes. Always.
A second.
Maddox let go.
I walked away.
20
Lila
Riley put her textbook away, when I walked inside our apartment, and gave me an expectant look. It must have been the expression on my face or the tear-stained marks on my cheeks, but Riley, wordlessly, opened her arms for me.
I slumped into her embrace and choked back a sob that threatened to escape. “God, it’s so hard. Walking away from him hurts, and every time I do it, it chips off another piece of my heart.”
She rubbed my arms, soothingly. “Why did you walk away, this time?”
“I thought we could be just friends again.” My voice leaked my pain, and I shuddered, holding back another cry. “I even gave myself a little pep talk. I said I won’t fall for his charms, won’t succumb to his touches. But the moment he kissed me, I forgot all of it and kissed him back.”
I wiped away the tears and lifted my head up, staring at Riley’s face. Her brows were pinched, and she gave me a sympathetic look. “We almost had sex in the hospital’s bathroom, Riley. If those two women didn’t walk in on us, he would have fucked me right against that sink, while his father laid dying a few feet away.”
“Well, shit.”
“Exactly,” I grumbled, so pitifully. “Maddox and I can’t be friends anymore. Not when we can’t keep our hands off each other. Especially not when he needs me physically. See, Maddox doesn’t do well with emotional support. That’s not how his brain works. He feels through touches and sex. Angry sex. Hate sex. Revenge sex. That’s how he deals with his emotions. I…can’t…do… it.”
“He needs you right now, Lila.”
“I know. But I can’t be his friend in the morning and then his therapy sex at night. That’s toxic, Riley. And we can’t go back to having a relationship…”
Riley was quick to pick apart my words. “Why not?”
“I have my reasons.” Painful reasons. But I was doing it for Maddox. I didn’t walk away to protect myself. I walked away for Maddox. “Maddox needs a wake-up call, even amidst all the shitty things that are happening, I can’t be there for him all the time. We can’t be so co-dependent on each other. That’s not a healthy relationship. There are some things that we have to deal with on… our own.”
“And you think this is the right moment to test this? Lila, his father is dying!”
I settled down next to Riley, removing myself from her hug. “You think I’m being a bitch and inconsiderate.”
She gave me a sharp nod. “Yes.”
There was a pang, an ache in my chest. “Sheesh, thanks for the honesty.”
“I’ll call you out when I think you deserve it. But I think there’s something else in your head that you’re not telling me.” Riley’s eyes hardened and her lips thinned. “What happened that day, when you found out Bianca was pregnant?”
“I left Maddox,” I croaked.
“What happened before you left him?”
I saw the look in his eyes…
“I’m tired. This was a long day, and I need some sleep.”
Riley let out a deep, exhausted breath and threw her arms in the air – I give up.
She was letting it go for now, but I knew I couldn’t run away from this conversation for long.
One week later
The doorbell pinged behind me, as I was cleaning the last table. I threw a look over my shoulder, calling out to the late customer. “We are closed!”
The sign clearly said we were closed, why did people still walk in? I never understood that. At least twice a week, we’d get customers, past closing, who would guilt us into serving them.
“Hi, Lila.”
My back shot up straight at the sound of her voice. I squeezed my eyes shut and took a deep breath. Bianca was the last person I wanted to see after the shit week I had.
It’s hard to watch your soulmate walk away. But it’s even harder to walk away from them.
I never thought leaving Maddox would be easy, but I definitely didn’t think I’d suffer this much. Our relationship had never been all sweetness. It was pretty roses with