Feeling more alone than ever, I ducked my head under the water and came back up for air, hoping the coldness would ease the heat of my body and clear my mind.
It didn’t work.
Slowly, I got out of the water. Maddox was sitting on the sand, still half naked, with his back to me. My throat seized with emotions I couldn’t explain, and I settled on the sand with him. Back to back, facing opposite directions. I watched the waves, letting it soothe my bleeding heart.
After a while, our breathing had evened out, our bodies no longer wet from our skinny dipping. Maddox cleared his throat. I turned my head to the side, keeping our backs pressed together. His hand came into view.
He was showing me his pinky.
God, Maddox.
Unshed tears blurred my vision.
“Friends?” he asked in a low voice.
I hooked my pinky around his. “Friends.”
We both lied to ourselves, but it was better that way. It had to be.
Maddox
A low groan escaped me before I could stop myself. Grabbing my pillow, I stuffed it over my face as my hand strayed toward my cock. This was so wrong; I shouldn't want her. Not like this. Never like this.
So. Fucking. Wrong.
Last night, our bodies pressed together in the water under the night sky – I almost lost control. I almost fucked her, right there.
And for a brief moment, I thought Lila was going to let me.
We were both edging toward something dangerous, and I didn’t know how to stop.
Because all I could think about were her lips – the way they part when she says my name; her eyes – the way they darken when she stares up at me. Her smooth neck – the way I wanted to bite her soft flesh and leave my marks there. Her hands... the way I wondered how they'd feel around my cock. Her goddamn tits, small and perky, perfect for my hands. She was made for me.
Fuuuuck.
I palmed my cock, squeezing at the base before pumping my length in my fist.
She was in the room adjacent to mine. The walls were so thin, she could probably hear me jerking off. But I couldn't stop. I tried, goddamn it. I tried.
I was hard, aching and... I wanted her. More than I had ever wanted anything in my life.
I shuddered as I imagined thrusting two fingers into her sweet cunt. She would clench around me, moaning, and I’d pull out, teasing her until she was writhing with need, before pushing the same two fingers inside her mouth and demanding she taste herself.
Such dirty, filthy thoughts.
Ragged, guttural groans spilled from me, and I muffled them with my pillow. I pumped my cock with my fist, angry for feeling this way but filled with so much need that I couldn’t force myself to stop. The muscles of my thighs tensed, my dick heavy and swollen in my palm as I got closer to my release.
So. Fucking. Wrong.
So. Fucking. Right.
Thick ropes of cum sprayed my stomach and coated my palm as I came, spurt after thick spurt, and I kept fisting my cock, pumping it, until my body twitched and a ragged, breathless groan came from my lips. “Lila.”
36
Lila
The unmistakable pressure between us was becoming harder to ignore. A month after our time in California, which was tense and awkward, the situation between Maddox and I was still same.
Maddox had become rigid, and the distance grew between us.
I wished there was a way to fix this, but it was clear there was no going back, no matter how much either of us wanted to.
I was sitting on my couch, staring at the TV, although I wasn’t really watching the screen, when Maddox walked inside my apartment. He wore a blank expression and had a piece of paper in his hand. The last time we saw each other was two days ago, after our last exams. This semester was officially over.
“We’re going to Paris,” he announced. “Me and you.”
Me and you. I almost laughed, a cold-humorless laugh. It used to be cute when we’d say that, but now, it hurt.
Me and you. But for how long, Maddox? We were already at the breaking apart.
“Paris, why?” I croaked, before clearing my throat. I didn’t want him to read the emotions on my face.
“It’s my birthday in four days. Daddy dearest gave me tickets to Paris as a present. Well, he mailed them to me.”
This meant his parents, obviously, weren’t planning to spend Maddox’s birthday with