from me, pulling further and further away from me.
Anger and… fear.
Because it felt like we were hanging on by a thin thread, and it was about to snap, catapulting us into two different world and away from each other.
Maddox and I… if we weren’t careful, we were about to break, to shatter, and there would be no turning back once that happened.
Me and you, he had promised.
I hoped he was keen on keeping his promises.
My chest tightened. Don’t break me, Maddox.
“Lila?” Riley’s soft voice broke through my stormy thoughts.
“He left. I don’t where he went,” I admitted out loud, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.
Riley stared at me, her eyes searching. “You don’t see it, do you?” she said gently.
“See what?” I shoved a piece of roasted chicken in my mouth.
Her lips twisted. “Nothing. When you see it, you’ll know what I mean.”
“What–”
Riley shook her head and stood up. “I’ve had a long day. I’m off to bed. Are you going to sleep soon?”
I nodded. “Probably.”
Riley paused at the door of her room and glanced back over her shoulder. “Stop hiding and stop ignoring it. You know what you feel. You’re just refusing to acknowledge it.”
Without waiting for a reaction, she closed her door. I stood there, mutely. What was I supposed to do with her cryptic words?
It felt like there was a hole in my chest, and I was bleeding out. There was no way to stop the flow of blood. I bled, the knife digging into my heart carelessly.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
The dam broke, my blood flowed, and I lost those pieces of me I had carefully glued together.
Tears of frustration blurred my eyes.
I was so…confused.
Between wanting Maddox and not wanting to lose him.
For years, I’d swallowed down my confusing feelings and kept them locked away in a forbidden place, refusing to acknowledge them. My throat itched as I forced back a cry, and my lungs seemed to collapse.
You know what you feel.
No! I didn’t!
I couldn’t.
Never.
Stop hiding and stop ignoring it.
I… couldn’t.
I chewed on my lip until it bled, and my knees buckled from the realization – what I felt for Maddox, it was so much more and I was damn afraid to acknowledge it.
Why was this so hard?
Maybe I was stupid.
Maybe I had completely lost my mind. It was the only explanation to why I was in Maddox’s apartment, waiting for him to get home. It was almost midnight, and the last time I had seen him was…
When he had left the event right after our dance.
Maddox still hadn’t come home yet.
I wrung my hands in nervousness, the feeling of anxiety pooling in my stomach. God, what was I doing?
Why was I even… here? At his place, waiting for him.
Stupid, stupid Lila.
What was I going to do when he came back? Hug him? Kiss him?
Nothing.
I’d stare at him, and he’d look into my eyes, that would be it. Because we were… friends.
Such a brutal lie it was. Friends…
The closer we became, the more I noticed smaller things about Maddox. What he loved, what he enjoyed, what pissed him off or annoyed him, his quirks and his ticks, and with every new thing I learned about him over the last three years, it became harder to pull away.
To ignore whatever was brewing between us; yet, we refused to acknowledge it.
He slept with other girls.
I dated other men.
We were best friends.
It was simple to the world, to him, but I was battling a war on my own.
My head fell into my hands and a choked sound escaped me. What am I doing?
The clock ticked with every second that went by, and when I finally couldn’t take it anymore, I snapped to my feet. No, I shouldn’t have been here.
This was a… mistake.
I was confused and…scared…and feeling too much.
The last thing I needed was to be this close to Maddox if he came home. I had to leave. Shaking my head in desolation, I strode for the door.
I never reached it because the door swung open and Maddox entered his apartment, stumbling inside drunkenly. Sweet Mother Mary, he was out… drinking?
He halted at the sight of me, and his lips curled. “Lila.” He breathed my name like a whispered prayer to the heavens above.
Was he praying for absolution or destruction? Because whispering my name like that could only destroy us.
He slammed the door closed behind him and stalked forward.
“You’re drunk,” I accused, taking a small step back.
He hummed, smiling. He stood in front of me, our chests barely touching, and