I kept my movements slow and careful as I cleaned his wounds and wrapped a bandage around his hands. He probably didn’t need them, but the bandages would keep them clean, so there would be no infection.
His eyes raked over my face before his gaze slid away – looking bleak and distant, lost.
“I got into Harvard. I worked for it. I worked so goddamn hard that I was able to keep my full scholarship for three years. I’m on top in my football career. Why is it not enough? Everything I do... it’s never enough. I always, somehow...end up lacking somewhere. Always somehow disappointing him. It’s never enough, Lila.”
“No. No. No!” I rushed to say. “Baby, no. Maddox, everything you do is enough. It’s more than enough. You. Are. Enough. Please don’t say that. I’m sorry about last night. I’m sorry your father is an asshole. I’m sorry he never told you he’s proud of you. But I am. I'm so proud of you, Maddox Coulter. Everything you’ve done, everything you do... it’s enough,” I said in urgency.
He leaned his head back and closed his eyes as if soaking in my words. He entwined our fingers together and clutched onto me. I squeezed his hands back. I’m here, Maddox. I’m here, and I’m not leaving. Me and you, forever.
I wanted to ask him what he needed right now. From me. If I could lessen his guilt, his suffering in any way, I would do it. Without a second thought.
As if he could read my mind, his eyes opened, and he leveled me with those beautiful blue orbs. I saw everything I needed to know.
“Can you...” he paused and swallowed. “...hug me? Please?”
He whispered those words so brokenly, like he was scared I’d refuse me, like a child begging for affection. To have someone just hold him.
I nodded, mutely, because my throat was closed up as I choked back a cry and forced my tears away. I couldn’t let him see me cry.
I stood up, and he pulled me into his lap. Maddox buried his face in my neck. “I got you,” I said, softly in his ear.
His grip tightened on me.
Maddox got hurt because of me; he got into a fight for my honor. The realization was overwhelming because I had underestimated his protective instincts for me and how much he actually cared.
I felt him breathing against my throat, and under my palm, his heart slowly started to beat at a calmer pace. His lips brushed against the pulsing vein in my throat and maybe he hadn’t meant to do it or he didn’t want me to feel it, but I did. My body was hyperaware of his touch.
“I got you,” I said again, as a reminder. My fingers combed through his hair, and slowly, he started to relax in my arms. The tension left him, and my aching heart soothed itself at the fact that Maddox was going to be okay. He was strong enough to be okay.
Once he lifted his head up, I smiled at him. “Okay now?”
His lips curled up in a half smile, and he nodded. “I guess I just needed a hug from my Lila. I swear you’re my goddamn therapy. Why waste money on a shrink if there’s a Lila in your life?”
I let out a laugh and smacked his arm. “Oh, shut up.”
He was grinning now, his eyes lighter, his expression calm.
“So, how about I make you pasta?” It was his favorite thing to eat whenever he was feeling low.
“Woman, you know I’d never say no to your pasta.”
“Okay, sit tight then.”
Pasta for breakfast. Hmph. Who cared? If that shit made my Maddox smile then we’d have fucking pasta for breakfast. Every. Damn. Day.
31
Lila
Send me a picture. Wanna see your sexy face.
I opened the text from Riley and then stared around the loud club. We were sitting at a corner booth with pretty bad lightning.
Still, I humored Riley and brought my phone up, deciding to please her with one picture. She wasn’t able to join us for a night out since she had an essay due tomorrow morning. Riley pouted as I left our apartment with Maddox, Colton, Jaxon and Rory. She made me promise to send her photos of us being pissed drunk, so she could live vicariously through us.
I ruffled up my hair a little, then pursed my lips in a sexy pout. Just when I was about to click the perfect photo, I was suddenly jostled. Something wet