albeit slightly uncomfortable silence as I packed up his recent documents to take with me back to Elkin Lake.
Friends. Friends with benefits, even.
I should be happy with that, but it weighed heavily on me. It’d felt so good, so right—and now I’d always know how it felt. Things could never really go back to normal. Not anymore.
16
Heath
I swung my bag over my shoulder and waved a goodbye to a couple classmates as I left the lecture hall. Graduation was looming closer and closer—only five months to go. I was beyond ready to be finished, so I could finally devote my full attention to Custom Ankhs. Even though I was fully patched-in, I knew I wouldn’t feel like a full member until I finally had my degree. I liked being useful. I liked having concrete skills to offer.
That was why I’d leaped at the chance to help Dante with his books.
And that really had been the only reason.
I sighed and started to make my way toward the student union to grab a snack before I headed back to Elkin Lake.
I certainly hadn’t expected things to go in the direction they had. Dante had made it very clear that we could only be friends, that we should focus on our club duties—that that’s what was most important. So what had changed?
Maybe, in his mind, nothing had changed. Friends, he’d said.
Well, in my experience, friends didn’t generally give each other blowjobs like that. Or at all! But according to Dante, that’s all it was. Since it happened three days ago, I’d been swinging back and forth about how I felt. One moment I’d be lost in the memory of it, thrilled and reeling from the knowledge that Dante wanted me enough to give me that. Or I’d feel a little drunk, remembering how I’d floated, totally lost to his control. And then I’d swing violently into frustration—what if he just pitied me? What if he knew I wanted experience and was just doing me a favor?
The truth of the matter, though, is that I wanted Dante so badly, I’d take whatever he was willing to give. If he wanted to be friends with benefits, I could make that work. Even if it made something in my heart twist painfully, making me feel like that wasn’t quite enough.
I just had to adjust my expectations. Open my mind a little bit. He wanted me, obviously—that was good. That was what I wanted, too. A relationship like this was better than no relationship at all, and at least we knew about each other, cared about each other, even. I had to let go of the thought that if I was… different, somehow, better, more experienced, more… more what he wanted, whatever it was, he’d want more than just friends. This was more than friends, even if it wasn’t the romance I hoped for.
No point in wishing. No matter how hard I wished, it wasn’t going to change anything. So I’d learn to be satisfied with what we had, and I wouldn’t make anything a bigger deal than it was. We had a training session scheduled at the clubhouse tonight—hopefully it wouldn’t be awkward. I was determined to ensure it wasn’t.
As I turned the corner to the union, I stopped short, all thoughts of Dante set aside.
Leaning against the low brick wall outside the café next door to the union were three familiar faces.
The guys from the Liberty Crew. None of them were wearing club leathers, since they’d been kicked out. But they still had the air of dirty club guys—Baxter was smoking while Ryder laughed at something he said, and Trip leered at passing college girls.
What the fuck were those three doing here? Anger flared in my chest, burning hotter than the anxiety that roiled my gut, too. They were banned from the territory. Now, not only were they in my club’s territory, they were on my campus. It felt doubly violating—this was my space. How dare those traitors show up here and start acting like they owned the place?
I should’ve ducked back behind the corner. I should’ve gotten out of sight so I could call Blade, or Gunnar, or at least Jazz, and get some fucking backup. But I just stood there, furious and disbelieving.
So of course Baxter saw me. He nudged Ryder, and they both looked in my direction. Even from across the brick courtyard, I could see the mean smile that curled Ryder’s lips. He grabbed Trip by the sleeve of his jacket,