yet to finish, takes a sip, sets it down, and resumes dancing to the beat of a faster song.
Sighing, I shake my head and I’m glad I came to babysit her from afar. She’s now a drunken girl alone in a club. The sharks are circling faster and I have to make sure she doesn’t end up in the jaws of one she won’t be able to fight off.
Another few hours pass. In that time, Adeline drinks far too fast for her small size, sweat glimmering over her body as she dances. Her hair is a wild, dark mess from running her hands through it, her eyes closed as she loses herself to the music, her clothes sticking to her from how hot her skin has become.
Several men have approached her. Some danced and then walked off after realizing she didn’t really notice them. One tried to kiss her, but she’d actually shoved him off, surprising me. It was a typical night for her, the slow spiral of self-destructive behavior that makes her more a victim of herself than anybody else.
As the night wears on, I watch her stumble over her feet, her eyes becoming unfocused, the alcohol in her veins finally catching up to her.
And then another man approaches, this one about six foot two, over two hundred pounds easily, a bruiser I’d seen work another girl over earlier in the night. He isn’t interested in hearing the word no and Adeline is in no condition to fight him off.
She’s against the pole again, hips swaying, thoughts lost to whatever nightmare plagues her, and for the first time in the years I’ve watched, I know I have to step in.
The first thing the asshole does is trap her hands against the pole, his beefy fingers easily crushing the delicate bones of her wrist.
I step forward, hesitant to reveal myself, but also hoping she will be too drunk to remember.
The brute’s other hand goes to Adeline’s hip as I weave through the crowd to approach, her eyes opening and locking to his with intoxication behind them.
I see her mouth move to tell him to fuck off, see her body jerk away from him, but he isn’t the type to care what a woman has to say. He’s the type to pick on someone smaller than him when there is no one around to protect her.
Adeline won’t be able to fight this one off.
I shouldn’t have stepped away from the wall. Shouldn’t have intervened.
If only I’d minded my own damn business, I wouldn’t have made the mistake that dragged me even closer into her orbit, a mistake that I would regret for rest of my damn life.
A mistake that would make me an addict with the very first taste.
Adeline
Nobody sees me anymore.
Not that anybody really saw me in my life. Not the real me. Not the girl staring out from behind the normal facade, the one who pretends when she smiles and says all the expected things.
I’d had a family once. Friends. Little girls when I was younger who didn’t yet realize I was different, but more guys than girls now that I’m older.
Boys are easier.
They don’t invite me places I can’t go because I have issues that need to stay hidden.
Like sleepovers, the kind where girls braid hair and talk about clothes and boys. Those stopped when I was just a kid because I have sleep disorders that will cause me to get up and walk around, disorders that will trap me between the curtain of consciousness and dreams while I’m completely aware that something isn’t right.
Girls can’t handle that, but guys can. One of my best friends learned to wrap his arms around me when I would thrash, he learned to whisper softly to wake me up. He moved away, off to college. Now there’s no one to hold me still anymore.
I prefer friendships with guys because they’re easier to get along with, they’ll keep me company without expecting much in conversation.
I don’t like to talk, another strike against me when it comes to female friends. Not because I’m not bursting with a million different, vibrant thoughts, but because I’m afraid of what I might say.
People look at you funny when they tell you about their dreams and you admit you only have nightmares. They feel uncomfortable when they’re crying over a sick family member and you confess you’re jealous when people die. Most can’t understand when you tell them you were meant for another life, yet find yourself