Dancing for the Lord The Academy - By Emily Goodman Page 0,50
if he was going to insult her that thoroughly.
“It’s not….” He sighed, letting her go so that he could pace the small space uncomfortably. “I told you when I first met you that there are things about Katarina that I admire and even appreciate. Her innate sense of grace. Her work ethic. Her determination to give everything that she does her absolute best, no matter what it costs her. You…share some of those qualities.”
“No matter what it costs me.” Danni added the emphasis to the word very quietly and very gently. “I wouldn’t hurt you for the world, Nick.”
“I know you wouldn’t. I just….” He dragged his good hand through his hair. Being a guy, he didn’t have to worry about pins. “Can you imagine what it was like for me?” he asked quietly. “Even a little bit? I told her that my shoulder was hurting, and she insisted that I needed to just keep working for it. ‘It won’t get any better if you don’t push’ was kind of the party line. And I know that, okay? I know that if I don’t push, I’ll never get the arm back to where it was. I’ve lived with that reality since I first got hurt. So I work as hard as I can for as long as I can, and I ignore the pain until it starts affecting my ability to control my muscles—because I don’t want to put you in danger.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t want…what happened to Kat….”
Danni didn’t make him say it. “You don’t want me to get hurt.”
“Exactly.” He looked relieved. “But with her, it was always one more after what I thought I could do, you know? So I learned to keep my mouth shut and just do it, and she’d feel it when my arm actually started shaking, most of the time.”
“I feel it,” Danni said quietly. “I didn’t realize how far beyond your endurance you had pushed, for it to be doing that.”
Nicholas winced. “I guess you wouldn’t, huh?” he asked quietly.
“Not unless you tell me.” Danni sighed. “I know now,” she offered.
“You know now.” He closed his eyes, leaning back against the wall with a grimace that showed her far more clearly than anything he might have said just how intense the pain had gotten. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” Danni said simply, “that I’m calling it quits for the day. If I need a partner, I’ll go hunt down Androv.”
“I don’t want you to have to do that,” Nick told her.
“I know.” She smiled, grateful that he couldn’t see it because she knew it didn’t entirely meet her eyes. “And I appreciate everything you’ve done for me—but honestly, Nick, I think I’ve got it. The practice now is just…well, if you asked Michael, he would probably tell you that I get a little bit compulsive about these things.”
“A little bit compulsive.” He actually opened his eyes to look at her then. “Is that actually how he would describe it?”
“No.” She grinned, and this one actually was genuine. “He would describe me as the practice Nazi—but even he knows better than to lie to me about how he’s feeling.” With a sigh, she admitted, “Though to be honest, I should have figured it out for myself. I…actually, I had forgotten that you were working with Allie, too.”
It was Nick’s turn to sigh now, letting all his breath out in one great whoosh that conveyed more about his feelings than he realized. He didn’t want to tell her…but at the same time, if he didn’t, she was going to keep blaming herself for the fact that he had pushed too hard. That wasn’t what he wanted—not at all. “Listen, Danni,” he said carefully. “I’m not….” He hesitated. It was so hard to get the words out! “If you’d been Kat…I wouldn’t have pushed as hard to be here for you.” That wasn’t what he really wanted to say. He tried again, conscious as he did so of the furrow between her brows. “It’s peaceful, having someone to work with who just…gets it. You don’t dwell on the bad stuff; you just…dance. And every time you dance, you dance for God.” He still wasn’t saying it right. “I like being around you, okay? I like spending time with you. And your focus right now is on the dance, so the easiest way to get your company has been to just dance with you.”