Maybe the reason people kept smelling smoke was because there was a fire somewhere. One I couldn’t see.
Or couldn’t admit to since he’d made a baby with someone else, and I felt like he’d cheated on me.
It didn’t make sense. Yet I was the foolish, besotted chick who couldn’t seem to convince myself of that fact.
“I thought I was headed home tonight.”
“There’s a Christmas rom-com marathon on. I DVR’d it. I thought we could watch? If you wanted to.”
Like the silly woman I was, I twirled my hair around one finger and smiled into the phone. “You hate those.”
“I wouldn’t say hate. I just have questions about them.”
I laughed. “You tear apart every plot and call them nonsensical.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I need to try harder to understand them. Since I have two women in my life now,” he added, slowly piercing my heart with every husky word.
“Jared,” I pleaded.
I didn’t even know what I was asking for. Space. Clarity.
Not to feel like this for him anymore when it couldn’t go anywhere, and his focus should be on his little girl.
“Well, three,” he corrected. “Have to include Sadie too.”
I didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure I could.
“If you’d rather go home, that’s fine,” he said stiffly. “I understand.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t want to go home.”
“Then it’s settled. And maybe you could bring home that sausage? I didn’t get to eat on my shift, and somehow the fridge is mostly empty. Didn’t you just go shopping?”
“A week ago.”
A week that had changed his life. And mine.
Even if I didn’t want to admit it.
Just as I couldn’t admit that when he spoke of bringing things home, I wanted that. I wanted us to have our place. I wanted to belong to him and vice versa.
This past week had brought all of the feelings I shoved down on a regular basis into sharp focus. Denial had been my life for a long time, but it was impossible when I was practically living in his house.
Practically acting like a mother to his sweet daughter.
He exhaled. “Yeah. I’ll have to go shopping. I meant to. It’s just been a lot lately, along with overtime at the station...”
He didn’t finish, and I didn’t need him to. I was already mentally composing the shopping list of items I’d pick up after my shift.
I glanced around furtively to make sure no one was listening. Luckily, the kitchen was bustling as always, and I was the least of anyone’s concern. “How is she on formula?”
“Coming up on the last one. She’s so hungry. I fed her more than usual tonight. I read in the book it could mean a growth spurt? She still looks the same to me.”
I had to laugh. “You can’t usually tell visually. You got a book?”
“A couple of them. Ordered online from a store in Turnbull. I didn’t want to buy from—”
“Someone not in the Cove. Yeah, yeah.”
He spoke over me. “But it was still a local shop. I still kept my values.”
“Bully for you. I’m going to Walmart tonight since I’ll be home late.”
I bit off a sigh. Now I was doing the home stuff too. God, I needed to saw off my tongue. And numb all my parts below the neck that were so partial to him.
A few in particular, the ones I blamed for those sex dreams. Sleeping in his house separated from him by a few thin walls did not help. Hearing his shower turn on and imagining being with him under the steamy water—
Yeah, that was a dream sequence that did not need to be repeated, thanks.
“That’s fine. I didn’t call you so you would go shopping.”
“Right.”
“I didn’t,” he insisted. “I was just thinking about you, Bee.”
I did another check for nearby people. The coast was clear. Still, I kept my voice low. “While you were changing a dirty diaper, perhaps?”
“I’m not going to pretend I didn’t send up a silent prayer for you to appear during that moment.”
I grinned. “Yet you survived. She loves cuddles after, once the crying stops.”
“She’s so small.”
“She is. But surprisingly tough. She won’t break if you hug her.”
He didn’t respond, and I clutched the phone that much harder. Someday he’d figure it all out.
At least with Samantha, if not in any other way.
“I’ll be there when I can,” I said before hanging up.
I took off my apron and stepped out on the back patio to stare across the dark, rippling water. I’d already taken my break, but I