to see you.” Reagan choked up, and I felt a squeeze in my heart. The big softy.
“You t-too. But I am b-bored as hell now. Tell me s-something good.”
Grinning like a fool, Reagan took a seat next to me. “I saw Gordo talking to your doctors. He’s been here each time any of us have come by. He hasn’t left your side, Javi. Flat out refused to leave. He’s got it bad for you. You know that, right?”
Unable to speak, I nodded. I did know that. The shit that happened with Kyle, all of our misunderstandings, those were superficial. What mattered was what I felt in the deepest corners of myself—the ones that fought to make me unhappy—and even in those places, I knew Gordo loved me. Every inch of me knew it and embraced it, now.
“Good. Because you deserve love, and if you try to argue with me, I’m going to be pissed off.”
“I won’t argue,” I said softly.
His skin crinkled around his eyes. “I’m going to get Gordo and let the two of you be alone. Just know I need you better fast. You’re still going to be the star of the show, remember? I want you there for filming. It isn’t Get Ink’d without you.”
“Will do, B-boss.”
Gordo, carrying two cups of coffee, crossed paths with Reagan as the larger man made his way out and nodded to him. He looked like the happiest goofball when he saw me awake, relief radiating off of him. Like seeing me was a blessing. I bit my lip and inhaled, forcing myself not to get scared by that. We were past that now.
“You’re cleared for caffeine,” he said as he handed me the cup. Our fingers brushed and I felt the warmth of the contact blossom in my belly.
“Oh, thank God. Nothing could be better than coffee right now. Nothing,” I said as he sat in the chair closest to me. The smell of it made me moan, all rich and nutty and decidedly not the antiseptic smell of the hospital room that I was beginning to worry was soaking into my pores. “How’s Giuliana?”
“She’s fine. Mason and Dana have really stepped up in helping so I could be here with you.” He sat down, scooting the chair closer to my bed. “How are you feeling?”
“Much b-better. I’m ready to get out of here.”
He exhaled sharply. “Good. Good. That means I get to tell you that if you ever scare me like that again, I will kick your ass. I’ve never been in a fight, and I don’t know the first thing about throwing punches, but Javi, I have never been so scared in my entire life as I was when I thought I’d lost you—even before the accident.”
His voice was tight and strangled.
Oh, Gordo. With my free hand, I reached out and touched his cheek. He hadn’t shaved in days, the beard coming in long past a five o’clock shadow. It tickled. “I know. I c-can teach you to throw a punch, if you want.”
A single tear escaped his eye, and I brushed it away with a finger.
“I’m just ready for us to get home to our girl,” Gordo whispered, leaning into my touch.
Our girl. It rang so loud and true in my heart that I wanted to shout with joy. But before we could go home, before we could be a family, I knew the air needed to be cleared. Long hours in a hospital bed had given me ample time to think. And now I was in a place where I could listen and truly hear what Gordo had to say. As well as speak some truths of my own.
“You s-shouldn’t have pushed me out. With Kyle. If I had known what was happening—”
Gordo’s shoulders drooped, but he didn’t look away from me. “You’re right. I thought I was protecting you from him, but I ended up hurting you so much more by trying to spare you than if I’d just included you in my life—fully included you. I’m so sorry, Javi.”
Gordo grabbed my hand, connecting us and lending me strength. Or borrowing it from me. Either way, the contact grounded me and eased the snakes writhing in my belly.
“I wish I could go back and do things differently,” he said. “But...well...it feels good, in a way, that it happened like it did. You’ve been telling me, over and over, that you need my support and to be included. I had thought that bringing you into the life