way now,” I said, not thinking, just reacting. Hanging up, I texted Mason, body going through the motions while my mind felt paralyzed with the information.
Me: Javi’s been in an accident. Can you and Dana keep Giuliana?
Mason: Of course. What happened? Is he okay?
Me: I don’t know anything yet. Text you more as I find out.
Mason: Okay. I hope everything is okay. I’m here for you.
With my daughter taken care of, I allowed myself to continue moving on autopilot. Getting a bag ready, just in case...well, I wasn’t sure. All I knew was I needed to get to Javi and be ready to stay with him. Help him. I refused to let anything more cross my mind.
Because saying goodbye to him wasn’t an option I could consider and keep myself in one piece.
26
Javi
There was a beeping that refused to let me stay in the comfort of the darkness behind my eyes, which annoyed me—I hadn’t been ready to give up being unaware. But the beeping made its incessant demands, and I could feel myself pulling up into consciousness, and all the sensations in my body soon followed. Too many sensations, really, and I had to spend time dissecting all of them.
My ribs hurt each time I inhaled, jagged shards of pain on my left side. My limbs feel stiff and atrophied, like I haven’t moved them in several hours. Maybe longer. I was on my back, but only partially reclined.
Well, shit.
The car accident came back to me all at once. I’d been headed to the tattoo shop to talk to Reagan. It had been dusk, the night sky coming sooner and sooner as we meandered into fall. There was another truck that had its lights off—chances were they’d just forgotten to turn them on, but it hadn’t mattered. I hadn’t seen them until they were barreling into my truck.
Something felt odd about my right hand, and panic coursed through me. Opening my eyes was difficult; they felt dry and crusted over, and my eyelashes peeled apart. The light was harsh and I winced. When I could manage, I looked down at my right hand, my drawing hand, terrified I’d find it in a cast.
What I found instead stole my breath from me—Gordo was holding my hand. He’d fallen asleep, his head rested on my thigh. Even while he dreamed, there were lines on Gordo’s forehead that spoke of worry.
As if of its own accord, my hand pulled out from under his and moved to brush his hair from his eyes. Gordo jerked awake like I’d poured water on him.
“Oh my God,” he said, staring at me in a way that made me feel like some rare and mythical creature instead of a man in a hospital bed. “You’re awake.”
“Why are you here?” I asked, and then regretted it. My voice was hoarse and my throat burned as I spoke. I touched my neck, startled.
“You had a ventilator tube for a while. The nurse said you might feel sore when you woke up. Javi,” Gordo said, his voice cracking. He held my hand between his and kissed my knuckles. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to see your eyes again.”
Then Gordo cried. He didn’t try to wipe away the tears or smother down his sobs. He wept openly, smiling and kissing my hand. More confused than anything, I waited until he started to collect himself again.
“I was in c-car accident,” I croaked out.
“Shhh, don’t talk so much yet. But yes, you were in an accident. Your truck is totaled—it rolled twice before slamming into a concrete barrier. You’ve been in a coma for almost three days.” Gordo stopped and swallowed hard, his brow furrowed so deeply I wanted to reach over and smooth it out. “You have three broken ribs and some head trauma.”
Shit. Gordo wasn’t someone prone to exaggerating—and based on his reactions, I was lucky to be alive. But he still hadn’t answered my first question… why was he here?
“Why are you here?” I asked again. And then, to make my point clear, I added, “S-shouldn’t you be with Kyle?”
Because the accident had made my body feel like shit, but it wasn’t enough to make me forget the low place I’d already been in before. Spending almost every waking hour playing that awful scene of Kyle and Gordo together in a loop, wearing myself down with each repeat. It had been excruciating. And yet...he was here. With me. Holding my hand and crying.