Javi looked at me like I’d asked him to jump in front of the next ambulance. Like he was offended at my request. I faltered, wondering what I’d done this time to upset him. “I’ll park and b-bring them in. Go get her checked in.”
That was an answer I hadn’t expected. It had been more than enough for him to drive us. But he was going to stay with us? I couldn’t help the tidal wave of relief that crashed into me at the realization that I might not have to do this alone.
As I walked into the ER, Giuliana’s cries had softened to whimpers. Before I could feel hopeful, though, I noticed how warm she felt in my arms. When I reached the front desk, the woman behind the counter saw my face and Giuliana’s small size and ushered us quickly into a room.
Javi found us right as a nurse was taking Giuliana’s temperature. It was high, 102.5 degrees. My heart leapt into my throat and my eyes began to water. It felt like I was falling through the floor into a sea of guilt and worry. That is, until Javi placed a hand on my shoulder. His warm strength pushed back the anxiety, and somehow I managed to keep it together.
He stayed with me as the doctor and nurses came in, remained close as I held Giuliana’s arms so they could take blood for tests while she screamed and screamed. With each test, Javi asked questions I was too overwhelmed to think of: What were they looking for? What should we expect? What came next?
Eventually, the doctor came in and sat with both of us. I noticed that he spoke to Javi and me both, as if Javi was also Giuliana’s parent. “We’re going to give her a mild sedative and an IV. Your daughter is fine, Mr. Black. Giuliana just has a tummy bug and is dehydrated—that’s what’s causing the fever. A little bit of rest and fluids, and you’ll be out of here with a happy baby in a few hours.”
It was good news—and it was also my breaking point. As soon as the curtain was pulled closed behind the doctor, I leaned over and covered my face, trying to hide the tears pouring out of me, but the hitched sobs and sniffles gave me away. God, I was such a mess, and I never would have been able to manage this trip without Javi. He’d been essential the entire time the doctor had been in the room.
What if my car had worked and I hadn’t crossed paths with Javi today? Or what if it had been Mason who brought me? Would we have been able to move so seamlessly to this point?
All it had taken was a fucking tummy bug and I’d totally fallen apart. Why had it taken me so long to call Christian? I should have known these things. I should have been able to stay calm and do what I needed to for my daughter. Javi had been so natural. He didn’t even have a kid of his own yet he knew more about being a dad than I did, and that thought made me sick as I cried.
I shouldn’t have needed him here, and I definitely shouldn’t have been taking comfort from him this whole time. I didn’t deserve comfort right now.
So when he started to rub my back in large, soothing circles, I didn’t calm down. Oh, no. I ramped up. My jaw clenched so hard I thought my teeth might crack. When I sat up, I wasn’t crying anymore. I was seeing red.
“You don’t have to treat me like a child,” I said, shrugging away from his touch.
Javi pulled his hand back like I’d slapped it. “S...s-s-sorry.” His hazel eyes grew wide, wounded.
“I appreciate the ride. But you didn’t need to stay. You don’t need to be here.” I shifted my eyes to Giuliana, now sleeping. I held her little hand, shutting Javi out—but not before I saw the stricken look on his face.
I expected Javi to run, just like he tried to at the race, like he’d done every time I’d stuck my foot in my mouth in the past, but he didn't. Instead, I caught him standing in my periphery. He moved to Giuliana’s other side and brushed some of the curls from her forehead. Then Javi bent over and kissed the top of her head.