reached over and grabbed his hand to reassure him.
When I did, there was a spark so visceral, I felt rocked to my core. A flash of his hands on my hips when I’d been a drunk idiot came back to me. Something happened when we touched, something magical and primal, and it scared the hell out of me.
I shouldn’t be doing this, I thought, even as I held onto his hand. As I caressed the sensitive skin along the top of his thumb to the delicate inner side of his reach, his pulse danced to life under my fingertips.
Our gazes met and heat sparked in his eyes. Or maybe I just hoped it did. It was like being trapped in a magnetic field, where I couldn’t have looked away if I wanted to. And I definitely didn’t want to. His story had created a rawness in the air, a vulnerability and openness that was oh, so tempting to lean into.
Don’t do it, Gordo, my brain yelled as my heart yearned for the gentle, fractured man next to me. Intensity built, creating a static charge that had the potential to change everything.
It was too much.
Javi pulled his hand from mine, practically jumping up from the couch. The absence of his touch felt way worse than it should have.
He turned to me without actually looking at me. “I should g-get some sleep. Thanks for d-d-dinner.”
I watched, feeling stunned and rejected and confused as he hurried away from me yet again. When the front door shut, I felt even more alone than I had before Javi had swooped in to rescue me from my grocery bags earlier. My body buzzed with the shock of it.
What had I been doing? Had I come on too strong? Obviously, he’d been shaken up—I mean, who wouldn’t be? Fuck, I shouldn’t have touched his hand at all. But he’d seemed just as caught in the moment as I was, and...shit. Shit.
Oh, I could have blamed my insensitivity on sleeplessness and stress. After all, what better way to a stressed father’s heart than by helping with the baby? It wouldn’t be lying to say that I was exhausted and overwhelmed and not thinking.
But the truth was much simpler, if harder to swallow: I was just undeniably attracted to Javi, and there was no more pretending otherwise.
I am really fucking this whole thing up. Whether my brain meant my friendship with Javi or my entire life, I wasn’t sure. It didn’t matter—both were true.
Cold shower? Check. Ugly boxers and old, ratty t-shirt? Yep, I had those, too. It was over an hour since Javi left, but no matter how much I tried, I couldn’t remove the sex-tinged heat of the look that Javi and I’d shared from my limbs. I played that moment over and over again in my mind, each loop bringing us closer and closer to a kiss. To touching with intention, with passion.
Touching like more than neighbors, more than coworkers, more than friends.
Falling into bed, I scrubbed at my face. That look had been the kind of potential-ridden moment that could lead to adult activities that I missed. I desperately missed them.
My hand was in my boxers before I could think better of it. And really… what was the harm? Giuliana was still asleep thanks to Javi’s swaddle, and maybe if I indulged, I could get Javi out of my system. My cock had been semi-hard since those intense moments right before Javi fled, his hand in mine.
It only took a few strokes of my hand to bring my cock fully erect. Shutting my eyes, I pictured what it would be like to finally, finally kiss Javi. His lips were so full—were they as soft as they looked? What would he do if I bit them? If I kissed him until they were swollen?
Blood surged through my cock, and I was fucking hard. Sliding my thumb along the slit of the head, I spread the precum around the sensitive skin, working it up and down until my hand began to glide up and down the shaft.
Javi’s hands were so beautiful. Sleek and strong. I even loved the knuckle tattoos, how every inch of him was art. I wondered what it would feel like to have those hands on my body, pinching my nipples or cupping my balls.
My groin tightened as heat began to build. My hand moved faster.
I’d love to see Javi naked. I wondered how much of him was tattooed. His lower abdomen? His ass?