but she wants to do it here. She’s very grand now, married to the guy who owns the alarm company, a retired captain. I mean, let’s face it, in the real world how la-de-da is that? And look at your husband. It’s great that he’s in venture capital, but if you’re unhappy, who cares?” He had a down-to-earth way of looking at things that she had always liked, and he hadn’t changed. And he was good-looking and in great shape at forty. He still looked like a football player. But she couldn’t imagine herself with someone like him. It just never fit, even then, no matter how cute he was. She had wanted someone very different from the hometown boys, like Peter.
“He cheated on me,” she explained about her husband.
“He’s an idiot, married to someone like you. I used to think about you when I was married to Ellen. She bitched all the time about the money I wasn’t making. And I’m pretty sure she slept with my captain before she left me. Who needs that? There are plenty of good people out there. You just have to find one.” She nodded, agreeing with him, not sure if Peter still qualified or not.
“It’s not going to be easy, starting over, dating again. I thought I was set for life.”
“We all think that. It’s chutes and ladders. You’re up at the top, and then you slide down to the beginning again. But it can be fun. I’ve actually enjoyed dating for the last ten years and not being married. I got it ass backward. I should have played till I was thirty or thirty-five and then gotten married. Instead I got married at eighteen and divorced at thirty, and now I’m having fun.” She laughed at his description of it, and he was right. “You’ll be happy again, Caro, if you wind up getting divorced. Just give it time. It’s a mess at first, especially with kids. But then you start to meet nice people, and you feel good about yourself again.” He was actually being helpful, and she was grateful for his advice. He made the future sound bearable, and not like a tragedy that had befallen her. “You should try dating online. It’s a little like gambling. You never know what card you’re going to get. Luck of the draw.” She laughed, and couldn’t see herself computer dating, although a lot of people she knew did. She’d thought she had it all worked out with Peter. Tom was right, now she was back to the beginning again. And she wasn’t sure how she felt or what she wanted. She was confused. She loved Peter, and she missed him, but every time she thought of him now, she thought of the photos in her nightstand. She was still in shock, angry, and sad. He had broken the sacred trust between them, and her heart. She had no idea where to go from here or whether to get a divorce.
They talked for a long time over dinner, and then he drove her home.
“I’d like to see you again sometime, Caro, if that’s okay with you. I can be your summer fling while you’re here.” He put it on the line and she laughed.
“I don’t think that’s what I need right now, but thank you, Tom. I don’t want to complicate my life more than it is. I have to figure out my marriage, and what I want to do, before I start dating or having flings. I don’t want to screw your life up either, or cheat on Peter if we’re going to get back together. But I’m up for an evening like this, dinner and good friends.”
“Fair enough. You were always straight up, Caro. I admire that about you. I should have stuck with you.” She had never cheated on him, Peter, or any man she’d gone out with.
“No, you shouldn’t,” she told him. “You did the right thing. I’m sure you have great kids.” She knew more than ever that she couldn’t live there. It just wasn’t enough for her, and never had been. But he was a nice person, and a warm memory. She couldn’t imagine him ever being more than that for her.
“I’ll call you,” he promised, but she wasn’t sure he would. She suspected that he wanted to sleep with her. And a fling was more what he had in mind, if he was big into computer dating. He was looking to make up