Peter had the income to back it up, and so did Gemma with her starring role on the show. She even got to keep her character’s expensive designer wardrobe per her contract, was always dressed to the teeth in L.A., and got a new sports car every year. She said she needed it for her image. Kate had no image to keep up. She had a ranch to run.
“It depresses me to come here,” Caroline said about using the house on the ranch. And Kate knew that Peter wasn’t a big fan of their father. They were two powerful male egos colliding, with Caroline trapped in the middle, squeezed by both. But that would be different now, with their father gone. Kate wondered if it would make Caroline more independent and freer, or more dependent on Peter.
“It would be fun for your kids to spend time here,” Kate said gently.
“Maybe,” Caroline said noncommittally, as they cleared away the dishes, and headed for their father’s house a few minutes later. Kate made notes for the inventory. Gemma wanted one small cowboy painting as a souvenir. She had always loved it. Caroline said she didn’t want anything. It was all part of an unhappy memory for her, of her childhood in a place she hated where she didn’t fit in.
“You need to go through his papers here,” Juliette reminded Kate before they left. “And his clothes. I can’t do it. It will make me too sad.” Just hearing her say it made his absence suddenly all too real, to be giving away his things.
“You should just give it all to Goodwill,” Gemma said. The very thought of it tore at Kate’s heart, all the familiar well-worn plaid shirts, his vests, his battered cowboy hats, his roping chaps he’d worn at the rodeo. She wanted it all to be there forever. More than anything she wanted him back.
“Do you two want to come for a weekend and go through his things with me? There’s a lot of our old childhood stuff too in the back barn. We could go through it at the same time.”
“Mostly yearbooks and Barbie dolls,” Gemma said with a wry grin. “I guess we could come for a weekend,” she said hesitantly, and Caroline nodded but didn’t comment. She didn’t really want to unearth those memories and remember the past. “Maybe we could go to Santa Barbara and check out our mother then,” Gemma suggested.
“Should we call her first?” Kate asked her, and Gemma shook her head.
“Let’s not. Let’s surprise her. Maybe we can get a look at her, and decide if we want to connect,” Gemma said cautiously, and Kate nodded. It seemed like a good idea to her.
“Count me out for that,” Caroline said firmly. She was adamant about not seeing her. “What would you say to her? ‘Why did you give us up?’ ”
“Yeah, that’s the whole point, isn’t it?” Gemma answered. “Why did she? We can’t ask Dad now, and he lied to us about it for our whole lives. She’s the only one who can tell us. I want to know. Don’t you?” She looked from Caroline to Kate, and Kate nodded. She did want to know, and they couldn’t confront their father. But she did think it was a good idea to approach with caution, and see what she looked like. Kate was burning with curiosity now, and so was Gemma. “Maybe I’ll come back in a few weeks when we’re on hiatus. I don’t know why, but now that the place belongs to us, it’s a little more appealing. And we don’t have to deal with Dad when we come here.” Caroline nodded agreement, but she wasn’t sure it was enough to make her come back anytime soon. They were going to Aspen for most of the summer.
Kate and Gemma didn’t have those constraints. Gemma had the show to film every week, but they were off every year in June and July, and part of August, which gave the cast a chance to do other things, or just play and relax. Gemma hadn’t done other projects in at least five years. She made more than enough money on the show to meet her needs, and she usually went to Europe in the summer, and rented a house in Italy or Saint Tropez. Sometimes she chartered a yacht and took friends, but she hadn’t made her summer plans yet. Kate never went away, although Gemma invited her, but the ranch was a