Orchard or the Hamptons, dressed in tight jeans and a nothing halter. Get down, disco Lisa, Vic thought, and grinned a little.
There was a single unopened letter on his desk blotter.
He picked it up curiously, noting first the word PERSONAL printed below the address, and second the fact that his address had been printed in solid caps.
He held it, turning it over in his hands, feeling a vague thread of disquiet slip into what was a general mood of tired well-being. Far back in his mind, hardly even acknowledged, was a sudden urge to rip the letter into halves, fourths, eighths, and then toss the pieces into the wastebasket.
Instead, he tore it open and pulled out a single sheet of paper.
More block letters.
The simple message—six sentences—hit him like a straight shot just below the heart. He did not so much sit in his chair as collapse into it. A little grunt escaped him, the sound of a man who has suddenly lost all his wind. His mind roared with nothing but white noise for a length of time he didn’t—couldn’t—understand or comprehend. If Roger had come in just then, he likely would have thought Vic was having a heart attack. In a way, he was. His face was paper-white. His mouth hung open. Bluish half-moons had appeared under his eyes.
He read the message again.
And then again.
At first his eyes were drawn to the first interrogative: WHAT’S THAT MOLE JUST ABOVE HER PUBIC HAIR LOOK LIKE TO YOU?
It’s a mistake, he thought confusedly. No one knows about that but me . . . well, her mother. And her father. Then, hurt, he felt the first splinters of jealousy: Even her bikini covers that . . . her little bikini. . . . .
He ran a hand through his hair. He put the letter down and ran both hands through his hair. That punched, gasping feeling was still there in his chest. The feeling that his heart was pumping air instead of blood. He felt fright and pain and confusion. But of the three, the dominant feeling, the overriding emotion, was terrible fright.
The letter glared up at him and shouted: I ENJOYED FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER.
Now it was this line his eyes fixed upon, not wanting to leave. He could hear the drone of a plane in the sky outside, leaving the Jetport, heading up, heading out, making for points unknown, and he thought, I ENJOYED FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. Crude, that’s crude. Yes sir and yes ma’am, yes indeedy. It was the hack of a blunt knife. FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER, what an image that made. Nothing fancy about it. It was like getting a splash in the eyes from a squirt-gun loaded up with battery acid.
He tried hard to think coherently and
(I ENJOYED)
just couldn’t
(FUCKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER)
do it.
Now his eyes went to the last line and that was the one he read over and over again, as if trying to cram the sense of it somehow into his brain. That huge feeling of fright kept getting in the way.
DO YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?
Yes. All of a sudden he had all kinds of questions. The only thing was, he didn’t seem to want answers to any of them.
A new thought crossed his mind. What if Roger hadn’t gone home? Often he poked his head into Vic’s office before leaving if there was a light on. He might be even more likely to do so tonight, with the trip pending. The thought made Vic feel panicky, and an absurd memory surfaced: all those times he had spent masturbating in the bathroom as a teenager, unable to help himself but terribly afraid everyone must know exactly what he was up to in there. If Roger came in, he would see something was wrong. He didn’t want that. He got up and went to the window, which looked down six stories to the parking lot which served the building. Roger’s bright-yellow Honda Civic was gone from its space. He had gone home.
Pulled out of himself, Vic listened. The offices of Ad Worx were totally silent. There was that resonating quiet that seems the sole property of business quarters after hours. There was not even the sound of old Mr. Steigmeyer, the custodian, rattling around. He would have to sign out in the lobby. He would have to—
Now there was a sound. At first he didn’t know what it was. It came to him in a moment.