Cruz (Dark and Dirty Sinners' MC #5) - Serena Akeroyd Page 0,88

me into the fact that he was trying not to lose his shit.

And probably failing.

On the outside, I didn't doubt he'd look calm. His men wouldn't know he was falling apart, because that poker face of his was world class.

But I knew my boy. Better than he knew himself.

"What is it, Rex?"

"It's about Mom."

Rene.

The love of my fucking life.

A woman I'd under-appreciated throughout our marriage, and who I spent more time worshipping now she was fucking dead.

There was no justice in this world, I knew that already, but I wished I'd known that before I lost her.

"What about her, son?"

"She was murdered."

The words didn't hit me as hard as I knew he thought they would.

"Dad? Did you hear me? She was murdered? We think it was the Italians." He grunted. "Scratch that, we know it was the fucking Italians. It had to be."

"I know, son. I know."

"What?" It was a soft whisper of confusion at first, but it morphed into a boom of outrage. "You fucking knew?"

"Of course I did. But I paid to cover it up, because I wasn't about to have your mother sliced and diced in a second autopsy that'd tell me the only truth I needed to know—she was dead, and someone paid a lot to cover it up.”

"You're fucking messing with me, Dad, you have to be."

"I ain't. Wish I was. Why do you think I left, boy? Why do you think I've been on the road all these years. I've been trying to find answers. Trying to find a way to get justice for her."

"You should have told me," was Rex's stony retort.

"Maybe I should have, maybe I shouldn’t have. All I knew was I needed you right where you are now, not joining me on the road with some fucked up vigilante plan in mind, half-cocked with no real chance of success.

"I knew I needed you to rule over the men who are like family to us. Who need us to rule over them so they can feed their flesh and blood.

"What use would you being with me, here and now, serve?"

Silence hit the other end of the line, and I wasn't mad. I got it. For a second, I wasn't even sure if he'd put the phone down on me, but I didn't hear a click, and slowly, I heard a soft soughing breath.

"She didn't deserve to die."

"No, son, she didn't. Not for my sins." The pain was still as acute as ever it was. Just as strong, just as numbing and soul-destroying, all at the same goddamn time.

I'd thought I'd known loss in my life, but until Rene had died, I'd never truly understood it.

And now that I'd pissed years away on playing at Prez, preferring to be with my brothers than her, that stupidity smacked me in the goddamn face every day.

She was supposed to be here, riding bitch as we traveled down to Florida to winter there. We were supposed to be regular goddamn snowbirds, with me getting bored off my fucking rocker while she sunned herself and I took full advantage of her having an all over tan.

I wasn't supposed to be sitting here, watching a bunch of corrupt agents doing a deal with some Colombian cunts who were bringing poison into my fucking country.

I wasn't supposed to be hearing the heartbreak in my son's voice as he learned about his mother's end.

Nothing about this was ever supposed to have happened, yet here we were, dealing with hard truths.

Because reality fucking sucked.

"Do you have any answers?"

"Some. Not enough." I cleared my throat. “What I can tell you is that you’ll think your old man is losing it.”

“Right. Like that's going to happen.”

His derision wasn’t much comfort. “Rene died because I was sniffing around in places where I shouldn’t have.”

“What do you mean?” I heard his tension. “You were—”

“I’m not talking about cheating, Rex. Dammit. You know I stopped doing that a long time before she died.” I was still ashamed about it though. Even more so now when I’d fucking kill to be climbing into my Old Lady’s bed tonight, no other bitch’s. “I’m talking about some dirty pigs who managed to smear me with their shit.”

“What are you talking about?”

"I'll be home in a few days, son. I'm in Florida now. It'll take some time to get back. I don't ride as long as I used to but I’ll tell you when I’m home."

When he didn't joke about me being an old man, I knew my kid