Cruz (Dark and Dirty Sinners' MC #5) - Serena Akeroyd Page 0,148

will end up blowing their fingers or hands off. I can't have that on my conscience as well."

"And what about the people your creations kill? What about them? Can you bear to have them on your conscience?" An explosive sigh escaped her. "Goddammit, this is why I hate the MC. This. You guys do shit for one another, and sure, at the start, it seems like a fucking family day trip to Disneyland. That's how Caleb got involved. He saw the camaraderie, he saw the family dynamic, had grown up with the different leadership, accepted that was the price he had to pay to be a part of it, and look at his ass now. Stuck in a fucking jail cell with hardened criminals just because of the color of his skin and a racist judge." She flung the tray of inks she'd mixed up on the floor, where the metal clashed against the tiles I'd only recently scrubbed free of blood. "Goddammit, I hate this. I fucking hate it.

"They're asking you to do something that nobody should have to do, especially not out of loyalty. If you make that piece of shit, just because you're scared of the council, then Cruz, you're not the man I think you are."

Lowering my arms, I lay there in the throbbing silence, aware she was right, but feeling like a fucking pussy because I had no idea how to break away from the MC protocol without losing my lifeline to them.

"It's not as easy as that."

"Isn't it? We lost a lot of good people, and I'm pretty sure the Italians deserve their ass kicking, but for as many foot soldiers as you take out, how many innocents will there be?" She growled under her breath, more fiery than I'd seen her in a long time. "Cruz, I—"

"Don't, Indy. Just don't."

"This is why the guys don't discuss club business with their women, because you guys are all fucked in the head. Women are the only ones who are capable of rational thought. I swear to God if that's the council's solution to what happened to the clubhouse, then they're crazy."

"You said it yourself, we lost a lot of lives—those people need to be avenged."

"Maybe they do, but surely there's a better way to do it? For God's sake, your mom is in law enforcement. Can't she get involved? Stone told me that the FBI was sniffing around the clubhouse, that they were investigating. Leave this to them."

When I started to shake my head, she grabbed my hands, and said, "Cruz, you're better than this."

"Am I? I've already done it twice, God help me. What's another time?"

Expecting her to move away from me in disgust, to fling me aside like the human trash I was, she didn't. Her fingers tightened around mine to the point of pain, as she whispered, "What happened?"

"Do you remember that scandal back in 2013? When thousands of documents about the war in Iraq were leaked to the press?"

She blinked. "Should I?"

"I guess not." Ironic that something which had derailed my whole future hadn't even been a blip on her horizon. "We leaked those documents."

Her eyes flared wide. "Holy shit."

"Yeah, holy shit," I agreed sourly. "It was a coordinated effort between the US, UK, and German newspapers. Dean insisted that they receive all the documents at the same time, but could only publish the information on a certain date."

"Why a certain date?"

"Because that was the day he was going to flee to Ecuador, but he left a fuck ton of evidence pointing in my direction. Don't get me wrong, what I did was wrong—"

Infuriated, she slammed to her feet and started storming back and forth, ranting, "Son of a bitch! No wonder you have such a shitty view of friendship. He dragged you into this when it wasn't even your passion project. Motherfucker!"

Her anger, on my behalf, took me aback. I hadn't expected that. Had never thought she'd be mad for me, but then, she didn't know the half of it.

"You were arrested?"

"Yeah, by Mom. But she pulled some strings, made some moves that had some key evidence disappearing. I owed her, and she made me fucking pay every cent back to her."

"That's why you joined the Sinners?" she asked shakily.

I nodded. "But I wasn't, and never have been, a complete moron. Dean made me question that for a while, but I registered what I was. I was too young to do half of what I did, it's no justification, but