Cruz (Dark and Dirty Sinners' MC #5) - Serena Akeroyd Page 0,118
"Not sure that's fair."
Her pout had me moving my hand to trace the pucker of her lips. "Never said I was fair. Never said I was into equality where this stuff is concerned.
"You pulled away, Indy. You, not me. I thought it was men who were supposed to be scared of commitment."
That had her eyes flaring wide. "Commitment?"
"Yes. A word more terrifying than 'cunt.'"
She shoved me. "Don't joke."
"Who said I'm joking?"
Indy blew me a raspberry, but after, her bottom lip was firmly tucked between her teeth.
Even though I was glad that she'd worked on my tattoo, because the endorphin rush always made me sleep like a fucking baby, and with the headache from hell after the blast, as well as the discomfort with my ribs which there was no escaping, I needed the Zs just as much as she did.
Only thing was, I couldn't grab her hair, coil it around my wrist, and then drag her down so she was sucking on my cock. Not when said cock was currently burrowing a hole in the fucking mattress.
"You want to be with me?" she asked, her voice serious, her eyes somber, so I knew she was taking this in the spirit it was intended.
I wasn't messing around here.
Watching her waffle had cemented things for me.
Wherever she was, I'd be.
Simple as that.
I was a lot more at ease with thinking that way than thinking I loved her, but that was because I'd only ever really loved my dad and his mother, who'd died when I was young. But I'd loved her. Too much.
Love hurt.
Making a liar out of me about the whole ‘not being a masochist thing.’
She twisted onto her side, and whispered, "I'm scared."
"What of?" I didn't tease her even though I could have. Not to be a prick, but just to make her smile.
I hadn't seen her this serious in, well, ever. She was taking things hard, and I got that.
What with killing a man, protecting one of our own from a fucking pedo groomer, and then a bomb blast that had taken some of our people, destroyed our world while forcing us to build it from the ground up... a lot had gone on and gone wrong.
When she cuddled into my side, one of her calves going over my ass as she tucked herself into me, I was a goner.
I mean, I'd already gone over for her, but feeling her like that, feeling her let me in, it meant more than she could know.
Jesus, it meant everything.
Her lips brushed against my shoulder, and she whispered, "Why do you make me feel safe?"
"Because you like monsters. You learned a long time ago that the people who hurt you look normal, they’re what haunts you, but your personal monsters, the ones who regular ‘decent’ folk look down on, keep you safe."
That had her rearing back. "Huh?"
My lips kicked up in a smile. "Nyx, me?" I grimaced. "We're the same. He just has a higher body count than me.”
She blinked. "You're not crazy like he is." Then, she winced. “He's high-functioning, don't get me wrong, but he's still a little batshit."
"Perfect daddy material," I joked, prompting her to shove at me again. I grinned at her, and she scowled.
"Your humor is as whacked as he is, that's for sure."
I shrugged. "I know."
"Doesn't make you a monster."
When I thought about all the gnarly shit I'd done in my life, and what I'd do in the future, without a second thought, I just hummed. "Different types of monsters out there. Predators who prey on the weak. And predators who prey on predators."
She relaxed some. "Oh."
I nodded. "I've always been wired differently, Indy, and that's why I'm surprised I feel this way for you. I've never felt this way for any other woman. And the few people I've loved have all been family.
"I never thought I wanted to feel like this. Never imagined this was how I'd feel when I first—" I broke off, because I hadn't intended on mentioning that, but it had slipped out.
Dammit.
And like I'd expect, she was on it like a fucking bulldog with a link of sausages.
"What?"
"I only saw you as Nyx's sister until I saw you cleaning up Stone's bunkhouse."
"I think you have a tendency to compartmentalize people. So maybe it's not that much of a surprise."
I blinked, because she was right. I did. People fit into pigeonholes for me, and rarely did they fly out of them and head into a different box.