Crush - Kelsie Rae Page 0,66

he adds with a smirk. “She was feisty, bull-headed, loving, kind, and stood up for others. She was the whole package.”

My jealousy doesn’t spike the way I expect that it would. Instead, I’m overcome with a sorrow that’s so deep I want to cry. Life is so fragile. So delicate. And if I’ve learned anything from my moments with Ben, it’s not to squander them.

“I’m really sorry for your loss,” I murmur, hating the way my eyes fill with tears. I can’t imagine losing Ben, and I’ve known him for less than a year. How painful would it have been for him to lose Kate? The idea of losing Ben nearly breaks me. It’s…unbearable.

Scooting closer to me, he wraps his arm around my neck and pulls me into him as I mourn his loss as if it’s my own.

“I’m just…I’m so sorry.” I soak up his warmth and close my eyes, simply breathing him in and cherishing this moment because there are no guarantees of tomorrow. And that’s terrifying.

“I am too.” His chest rumbles. “Krista spent years telling me that Kate would want me to be happy, and do you want to know a secret?”

“What’s that?” I whisper.

“You make me happy. In a way, I almost wonder if Kate sent you to me so that I would finally realize I hadn’t been living. I was wasting my precious time on this earth by living in the past instead of looking toward the future.”

He’s not the only one who was stuck in pause mode. As I look back at my life before getting pregnant, I want to kick myself. I was afraid to go after what I wanted because I was afraid I wouldn’t be accepted.

Playing with the wisps of dark hair on Sadie’s head, I admit, “I’m not sure how much I was really living before I met you, either. I guess I should thank Kate for that too.”

“She would’ve liked that and probably would’ve never let you live it down, either,” he adds with a crooked smirk before sobering slightly and dropping a kiss to the top of my head. “I really want my future to be with you, Marcy.”

“I want my future to be with you too.”

28

Marcy

Two weeks later

“Why, hello, Dr. Bennett,” I say in a sultry voice as he opens the door in his office for my thirty-five-week appointment. Technically, I missed last week because of a photo shoot, so Ben asked me to start coming weekly.

“Hello, Ms. Holden,” he replies in an equally over-the-top porn star voice. I revel in our banter. “How are you feeling today? Need me to…check anything?” His eyes fill with heat as I lose a bit of my earlier bravado.

“Actually, I’ve been feeling kind of crappy.”

Concerned, he wiggles the mouse and scans my chart, then grabs the doppler. “What kind of crappy?”

“I dunno? Just a nasty headache and some dizziness.”

“Have you been feeling Little Miss move like normal?”

“I think so? Nothing out of the ordinary.”

“Okay, let’s do a quick check and make sure everything is still going smoothly.” Lifting my gray T-shirt up, he turns on the doppler gadget so he can listen to the baby’s heartbeat and gets to work. After finding the heart rate of Little Miss, Ben monitors the rhythm for a few seconds, then puts the doppler down and offers his hand to help me sit back up. “Let’s listen to your heart. Breathe deep for me, okay?”

“Okay.” The metal from his stethoscope is cold as it presses against my upper chest. Inhale. Hold it for a couple of seconds. Exhale. I continue the pattern while he moves the circular piece of metal from my front to my back.

As if I’m a riddle he can’t quite figure out, he warily presses the call button on the wall.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer me.

Tracey’s head pops through the doorway. “Hey! What do you need?”

“Are the results from Marcy’s urine test from today in her chart?” Ben demands.

Cocking her head to the side, she thinks for a second before nodding. “Yeah. I just put them in.”

“Okay, thanks,” Ben replies coolly.

“Anything else?”

He shakes his head. “No. Thanks, Trace.”

“Yup.”

Then she disappears and leaves us alone again.

His forehead is wrinkled as he scrolls through the electronic record and studies whatever’s on the screen.

“Is something wrong with my pee?” I ask.

“No. Your protein levels are a little elevated. We’ll just need to keep an eye on it.”

“Okay.”

“I think we should draw some blood to check on a few things,” he