Crush - Kelsie Rae Page 0,48

with my plea.

Giving me a single, deliberate nod, Ben tries again. “I like you, Marcy. I like you in more than a friends-with-benefits kind of way. I like you in a can’t eat, can’t sleep kind of way, and I’m so sorry I hurt you, but I’m really hoping you can give me another chance.”

My ears are buzzing, and I’m convinced I’ve heard him wrong while unsure if I want to pursue his suggestion even if I did hear him correctly. Shifting my weight from one foot to the other, I cross my arms defensively, and ask, “A chance at what?”

“A chance for me to prove that I can treat you the way you deserve. A chance to take you on a real date instead of hiding behind the sorry excuse that we’re just friends when we both know that wasn’t true. I was just too much of a coward to face my feelings and to admit that I feel something for you that I haven’t felt since I saw my wife in Algebra class my sophomore year of high school.”

I jerk back and release the air I’d been holding hostage in my lungs. “Are you sure that’s a good idea, Ben?”

“No.” He laughs, and his genuine response seems to lighten the weight around my shoulders, pulling a soft chuckle from deep inside of me. “But the thought of not seeing you every night after work hurts on a level I never could’ve anticipated. I’ve told you I’m broken, and I can’t guarantee that I won’t screw up in the future, but I want to try a real relationship with you. I need to, or else I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

“I can’t live in her shadow,” I whisper, hating how vulnerable I sound along with the fact that I’ve had to say the same thing twice in one day. First to Krista. Now, him. “I’m sorry, Ben, but I’m not Kate.”

“I know that, and despite my shitty Freudian slip, I don’t want you to be Kate, and I don’t want you to ever feel like I’m trying to use you to replace her. In all honesty, you’re nothing like her.” He laughs again, but it’s sweet and a little bashful too, playing my heartstrings like a damn concert violinist. “I like you for you, Marce. And I like who I am when I’m around you. Aren’t those the things a guy’s supposed to look for when considering a relationship with someone? It should be that simple, and I’m sick of my past making things complicated.”

Inching closer, he brushes a few strands of hair behind my ear and is completely oblivious to the effect it has on me. “Would you please let me take you on another date? A real one without my past getting in the way and screwing everything up?”

My eyes close for an instant as I savor his touch before being snapped back to reality. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“I can be patient.” He drops his arm to his side. “You know how to reach me.”

“Okay.”

I rock back on my heels with the intention of packing up and leaving when he stops me. “And, Marcy?”

“Yeah?”

“I really am so sorry.”

Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I murmur, “I believe you.”

19

Marcy

It’s been a week. A really long week of editing with only the distraction of cute babies to take away the constant voice inside my head that whispers I should message Ben.

Chewing on my thumbnail, I stare at my phone and let the minutes tick by as I debate if I’m strong enough to go down this road again. The sting from Ben’s little slip-up is still fresh. Too fresh.

But I miss him.

A lot.

More than I’d like to admit, which is why my damn phone keeps taunting me anytime I have a free minute. Hell, it taunts me even when my mind is concentrating on something. It’s like a damn strobe light flashing through the everyday monotony that is my life, telling me to message Ben.

And I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be able to ignore it.

Digging my fingernails into my fist, I finally give in and open the B&B app before finding my message thread with Ben.

Marcy123Marcy: Hi.

There. I sent it.

The phone lands with a soft thunk against my coffee table before I reach for the remote control to turn on a show because I’m in desperate need of a distraction. But as soon as my hand hovers over the