Crush - Kelsie Rae Page 0,45

hesitate. “Yes? That’s me. Are you calling about photography services?”

“No.” There’s a long pause, and I check to see if the call is still connected. It is.

“Okay…how can I help you?” I ask.

Another pause. “Okay, I’m going to be completely honest with you right now. This is Krista, Ben’s sister-in-law. We met at Ben’s house a few months ago?”

My steps screech to a halt. “Excuse me?”

“I found your number through your photography website, and I know that I’m totally overstepping my bounds, but I was wondering if we could chat for a minute?”

“Umm….” Clearing my throat, I open the driver’s side door, then start my car and pull onto the main road. Once my phone connects with the Bluetooth speaker, I mutter, “Sure? I guess?”

“Okay, thanks.” She sighs, preparing herself for what I have no doubt will be a very awkward conversation. Still, I’m curious enough not to hang up the phone and wait to see what she has to say. “I didn’t really know how else to reach out, but I’m kind of a mama bear and don’t always know how to keep my nose out of my family’s life, and even though Ben might kill me, I knew that if I didn’t call you, I’d regret it for the rest of my life.”

My grip tightens around the steering wheel, but I stay silent and wait for her to continue.

“You need to know something about Ben. He’s…well he’s a pretty private guy. And when my sister died, he basically buried himself in work and closed off all of his emotions. He never talked to anybody and never really acknowledged the fact that his wife––my sister––is gone. The other day, though…he showed up on my doorstep and lost his shit in a way that I’ve never witnessed before. He looked more helpless than I’d ever seen him, and I have you to thank you for that.”

“Thank?” I laugh while my throat closes with unshed tears.

“I know, right? Probably seems like a poor word choice, but I don’t really know how else to describe it. He’d been going about his day-to-day life like a numb zombie, but something woke him up, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on it until he finally told me what happened. You woke him up, Marcy.”

“No offense, Krista, but I think you’re mistaken. I’m just another girl to him.”

“No offense, Marcy, but I think you’re the one who’s mistaken,” she replies gently. “He’s slept with a lot of women since Kate died. Like…a lot. We didn’t ever really talk about it, but I knew. He’d always shut me out for a few weeks afterward like he felt guilty or something. I don’t think he’s ever felt anything during any of those encounters, though. If anything, they fed the numbness, blanketing him with that blissful novocaine that could keep him living in a world where he didn’t have to face the truth. That the love of his life was buried in the ground.”

It’s as if she just twisted the knife in my chest, making it hard for me to breathe.

“I don’t know why you’re telling me this,” I choke out.

She sighs. “Look, I know he doesn’t deserve it, but I’m asking you to give him another chance. I’m begging you to,” she clarifies. “He feels something for you. I know it. Something real. And something scary for a guy like him because he was sure he’d never feel that kind of connection ever again. But he does feel it. With you.”

“And what if you’re wrong?” I whisper.

“Maybe I am. All I know is that he’s hurting. He’s hurting bad. And the only thing that I can think of to fix it is for you to forgive him for one of the biggest mistakes a guy could ever make.”

Ya think? I want to shout, but I bite my tongue before finally admitting my greatest fear while vowing not to let it come to fruition.

“Krista, I’m not going to live in your sister’s shadow.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to. But I would like to think you’d give the guy a little grace while he figures out how to let one girl go in order to hold onto another one.”

Shiiit.

When she puts it like that…I don’t even know what to think. Is she right? Does he deserve my forgiveness? Could he actually feel something for me?

Blinking back tears, I check the time on the clock and notice I’m going to be late if I don’t get out of this freaking