passion with interest, and not to mention, her love for my ridiculous dog.
I knew that she had hated me after Paris, but I’d thought that we’d gotten past that. It appeared I was wrong. Really fucking wrong.
I couldn’t put my past behind me. Why did I expect her to do the same? No, I needed to face it, it was always going to haunt me. The beast within clawing at my skin to get out and unleash once more. To break free from the cage I’d locked him in so long ago.
I wanted Natalie.
The beast didn’t care how I got her. I did.
One step forward and two giant steps back. Natalie so close and yet so far.
I quieted the part of me that would lie, scheme, and manipulate to get to her. I didn’t have to be that person. I could win her another way.
So, I retreated to the kitchen and poured myself a rather large glass of scotch. I plopped down on the couch and took a good, long sip. Maybe booze would help.
I’d spent the last six years of my life trying to find balance, to attain the good life. The one I’d read about from the greats. The one that I’d studied methodically. I’d fought my own nature and distanced myself from my past life. I’d been on the right path. Then one look at her, one touch from her, and I was throwing it all out the window.
What were ethics and happiness and attaining the highest level of philosophical reasoning when Natalie stood before me, a larger puzzle than them all?
The drive back to the Hamptons had none of the ease or comfort of our drive into the city. Natalie stared down at her phone the entire way, texting away. Totle was passed out in her lap. I tried to carry on a conversation once or twice, but I got sick of one-syllable answers real quick.
I had just turned up the music, drowning out my own thoughts with Mae’s killer lyrics, when her phone rang.
She silenced the volume with a sigh and answered, “Hey, Katherine.”
My ears perked up. Oh, this was going to be good.
“Yeah, I can’t do brunch. I already left.”
We had already left. We, I corrected for her.
“Oh, Lewis told you that Penn was at the beach house, too?” she said softly.
Fuck. Just peachy. I really wanted to hear the other side of this conversation.
“Yeah, he’s here. But we’re both working, so you probably shouldn’t visit.”
Thank god.
“Look, I know I’m some kind of project for you, but I can’t hang out all the time. I have work to do and a book to finish. Maybe another time, okay?”
Katherine must have been backpedaling hard with whatever she said next. Natalie looked skeptical by it all, but she seemed to soften a tad by the end.
“All right. I get it. Maybe let’s talk later.”
She hung up the phone, and uncertain, I peeked over at her.
“What did Katherine have to say?”
Natalie shrugged and looked back out the window. It was several minutes before she said anything at all. “She said she hadn’t meant project how it sounded and that she was sorry for hurting me.”
I kept my face neutral. That was such a line from Katherine. She was never really sorry for how she treated people, but it wasn’t as if I could say anything at this point. I was the other side of this bet even if my intentions were pure. Hers weren’t, and Katherine had a tendency to dive in too deep.
“It was really Camden who was the dick anyway. Katherine was just reacting to him,” Natalie murmured and then turned the volume back up, so she didn’t have to talk to me anymore.
It felt like a lifetime before we got back to the house. As soon as I stopped, Natalie had Totle on his leash and was hurrying inside with her bag slung over her shoulder. I gritted my teeth. This was a mess.
I grabbed my own bag out of the trunk and followed her inside. To my surprise, she was standing in the living room, waiting for me.
“Hey,” she murmured.
“She speaks.”
She shook her head. “You know what? Never mind.”
“Wait,” I said, reaching for her. “What were you going to say?”
She sighed and dropped her shoulders. “I want us to go back to the way things were before…”
“Before what?”
“Before we kissed.”
“Do you really think that’s possible?”
She bit her lip, and all I could think about was sucking it into my mouth. The taste of