The Crown (The Selection #5) - Kiera Cass Page 0,13
whispered. “There were things I was always sure of, and almost all of that has fallen apart in the last few weeks.”
“Do you …” He paused as he gazed into my eyes. “Do you need to not think right now?”
I swallowed, processing the offer. Here with just the two of us in the dark, quiet evening, it felt so similar to the night of our first kiss. Only this time there’d be no one watching, no one to print it in a newspaper. Our parents were nowhere in sight, and the guards weren’t trailing our steps. For me it meant that, for just one moment, there was nothing to keep me from having what I wanted.
“I’d do anything you asked me to, Eadlyn,” he whispered.
I shook my head. “But I can’t ask.”
He squinted. “Why not? Did I do something wrong?”
“No, you idiot,” I said, pulling away. “Apparently …” I huffed. “It seems you did something right. I can’t just kiss you like it’s nothing, because it turns out that you’re not nothing.”
I stared at the ground, growing increasingly irritated.
“This is all your fault, by the way!” I accused, glaring at him as I paced. “I was fine not liking you. I was fine not liking anyone.” I covered my face. “And now I’m in the middle of this thing and so lost I can hardly think straight. But I know that you matter, and I don’t know what to do about it.” When I gathered enough courage to look up at him again, he was smirking. “For goodness’ sake, don’t look so smug.”
“Sorry,” he said, still smiling.
“Do you know how scary it is for me to say all that?”
He bridged the gap between us. “Probably as scary as it is for me to hear it.”
“I’m serious, Kile.”
“So am I! First of all, it’s strange to think about what it all means. Because you come with a title and a throne and a whole life planned out for you. That’s insane for me to try and take in. And second of all, more than anyone here, I know that you hold your cards close to your chest. A confession like that must be practically painful for you.”
I nodded. “Not that I’m mad that I like you … except that I kind of am.”
He laughed. “It is rather infuriating.”
“But I need to know, now, before we go any further, do you feel anything like that for me? Even the smallest glimmer of something? Because if not, I have to make plans.”
“And if I do?”
I lifted my arms and let them flop down to my sides again. “Then I still have to make plans, but they’ll be different.”
He sighed heavily. “Turns out you matter to me, too. And I wouldn’t have thought about it except for my designs lately.”
“Uh … how romantic?”
He laughed. “No, really, it kind of is. Usually I get excited about designing skyscrapers and homeless shelters, things that someone might remember, or might help people. But the other day I found myself designing you a summerhouse, a miniature palace, maybe something with a vineyard. This morning I got an idea for a beach house.”
I gasped. “I’ve always wanted a beach house!”
“Not that we’d ever get to use it with you running the world and all.”
“It’s a sweet thought all the same.”
He shrugged. “It just seems like everything I want to make lately is something for you.”
“That means a lot. I know how important your work is to you.”
“It’s not really my work. Something that I care about is all.”
“Okay, then. How about for now we just add this to that pile? This is something we care about, and we both know it, and we’ll watch it and see what happens.”
“That’s fair. I don’t want to discourage you at all, but it feels too soon to call this love.”
“Absolutely!” I agreed. “It’s too soon, and that’s too big.”
“Too busy.”
“Too scary.”
He laughed. “On par with being dethroned?”
“At least!”
“Wow. Okay.” He continued to smile, probably considering the unlikelihood of us falling for each other himself. “So, what now?”
“I continue the Selection, I think. I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I have to keep going. I have to be certain.”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t want you if you weren’t.”
“Thank you, sir.”
We stood there, the sound of the wind in the grass the only noise.
He cleared his throat. “I think we need food.”
“As long as I don’t have to cook it.”
He threw his arm around my shoulder as we turned back to the palace.