A Crown Of Fire And Wrath (The Shadow Walkers Saga #5) - Sloane Murphy Page 0,67
to up and leave on me.
After breakfast I decided to try and forget everything by running. Which is how I find myself bent in half, panting, after pushing myself until I felt like I was going to throw up after running laps of the property.
Roman and Levi still haven’t emerged from the house, and I have no intention of getting in their way. Kain and Creek are right. Guys just need to fight it out sometimes. I wish girls were that simple.
I dropped Fallon a text earlier to let her know that I’m alive, and sent one to Colt of a similar fashion. I gave them both a much briefer explanation, and it was much easier to do via text. I pull my phone from my arm cuff and see that I’ve been out here nearly two hours. I respond to both Fallon and my brother, and head inside where I find Roman, sitting on his own in the lounge room, seemingly waiting for me.
I pause after I close the doors and wait to see if he’s going to say anything. The tension in the air is so thick, you could cut it with a knife. “Roman…”
He doesn’t even look up at me, so I head to my room to shower because I’m not going to argue with him. If he’s still angry, I’m going to give him space until he’s ready. I’m at the door to my room when the sound of heavy footsteps coming down the hall reach me, so I sit on my bed and wait.
“You shouldn’t have run from us,” he growls as he slams the door closed behind him. I stave off the flinch that threatens at the crash of the door closing, and wait in silence as he paces the floor in front of us. “You said you wouldn’t leave again, and then you left.”
“I’m sorry,” I offer, but I’m not sure he even hears it.
“You should have come to me. To any of us. Running is never the answer. Running can get you fucking killed. Do you have any idea the stress, and the worry that you put us through… The not knowing where you were and if you were okay. There were tears on the fucking note Remy. We knew you weren’t okay.” He continues to rant as he paces, and a fresh wave of guilt hits me for leaving.
“I never meant for you guys to hurt, I just needed to escape. Escape myself, and the pain. The overwhelming guilt. And so much shame. Do you have any idea how much it hurt to fall asleep and that was what I remembered? To be hit with all of it as if it was happening to me right fucking then? I get that you don’t like that I left, and you are entitled to feel how you feel. But goddammit, Roman. Do you get that I couldn’t come to you? To any of you! Because my pain was so extreme, the guilt, the shame, that all I could think of was the child I lost, and how I wouldn’t survive losing any of you too,” I pant as I shout at him. Anger over-riding everything. He just stares at me, still as a statue, wide eyed.
“I fucking hurt. Every inch of me. And I didn’t want you to see that,” I say. “I needed to escape who I am as much as anything. You obviously stopped listening during my explanation earlier, otherwise you’d know that. The very many different versions of myself in my head, all of the crazy that came with it, and I was just about coping. But this, this pushed me over the edge, and I knew I had to get away and speak to someone who doesn’t care who I am, or what I’ve done. Doesn’t care who I’ve become.”
He stalks towards me, grabbing me by the throat and waist, and kisses me until I’m breathless. I melt at his touch as he overwhelms every one of my senses, until there’s nothing left in my head but him. He fists my hair and walks me backwards until we fall onto the bed and he cages me with himself.
“You won’t run again. You’ve worked your shit out, but, Remy, you need to talk to us when shit is going on in your head rather than stuffing it down and breaking like this. All of this doesn’t work if you don’t let us in. I know you’re not the girl I