A Crown Of Fire And Wrath (The Shadow Walkers Saga #5) - Sloane Murphy Page 0,24
me.
So many different versions of myself, none of which feel like me, and I feel disjointed. Like I almost don’t know who I am anymore now that I know everything. I didn’t examine it too deeply before I shut it down and pulled myself from that dark place.
I pull my focus back to where we are when Levi stiffens beside me. I look up at him and follow his line of sight when I see my mom. I’ve been so desperate to connect with her, even more so since dad died and she told us about how grandfather had a hand in her death but the thought of wading through everything inside of me, going through the emotional rollercoaster that is finally having time with her, fills me with panic.
I grasp Levi’s hand, pulling his gaze down to me, and I know in an instant he knows I need to get out of here. There’s so much that is unresolved with my mom, and as much as it pains me to dodge her, the thought of facing her, of having to dig through everything inside of myself to do that, to talk the way we once did. I’m not ready for that. I might be a pro at leaving stuff for future Remy to deal with, but that box is getting real close to overflowing.
Levi pulls me in the opposite direction, and I go with him, without struggle. I don’t even turn back, because I know if I see her face again right now, I won’t be able to hold it together, and breaking right now isn’t an option. I take in deep breaths as Levi moves us through the crowds, to the thick of all the people, so we can be anonymous. Well, as much as you can be in Avalon anyway. Levi’s isn’t exactly a face people forget.
I follow as he leads us through the other side of the crowd and towards the sky loft where Michael will be waiting for us. I can’t just leave without saying goodbye. Especially after how things went the last time I left here. My stomach flips just thinking about it. I should have known something was coming. I still don’t know if they ever found out who shot that arrow. Or if it’s all linked to everything now.
Now isn’t the time to worry about that. God knows my to do list is more than long enough. I know seeing my mom is going to be on there, but first… first I need to go home and reassure my guys I’m okay. Just a few more hurdles to jump through before I do. Levi could have us out of here in a heartbeat, but I’d rather not have him be banished again. This place never meant as much to me as it did to him.
Levi pulls me to him and lifts me up into his arms, making me squeak in surprise. I wrap my arms around his neck, looking up at him with a smile on my face. The way he looks at me makes me breathless, my whole body shivers as he stretches his wings and shoots us into the skies.
“I wondered if you’d actually come here, or if you’d just try to leave,” Michael says, as he looks up from the dining table where he’s studying a dozen texts with maps spread across it.
“Don’t tempt me,” Levi grumbles as he puts me on the floor. I roll my eyes so hard I swear I see the inside of my skull.
“Can we please just not?” This constant piggy in the middle thing is exhausting.
“Sorry,” Levi says, sheepishly as he rubs the back of his neck. I look over to Michael who almost looks smug.
“I meant you too,” I say with a pointed stare. The smile falls from his face, and he has the decency to look a little shamed.
“Sorry,” he says, shaking his head. “You’re right. Thank you for coming to see me, I know you didn’t technically have to, but it will make things easier. I also have something to run past you.” Levi’s interest looks peaked, and I let out a deep breath. Being here felt peaceful to start with, but the more I’m here, the more suffocated I feel. Especially now that I have access to my memories. The soothing feeling this place gave me, is like how I felt here before my powers manifested, after that, well that’s when it all went to hell.