stomach roiled. This . . . She couldn’t let it happen. She had to tell them, explain to them that the female phoenix was bonded—to her.
But that would mean revealing herself as a liar and risking her position here. All she’d worked for . . . gone. Whether she had a phoenix or not, she needed Tristan’s support in order to become a new recruit, and she knew he’d feel betrayed by her deception. He had shared his most shameful fears, and Veronyka had been too cowardly to reciprocate.
It wasn’t just her lies, either; there was the how of it. She’d used shadow magic to deceive Morra, and it was a notoriously distrusted ability. She wasn’t just a liar, but a shadowmage as well. Trust was paramount in a Rider patrol. Trust was everything. And if no one trusted her, no one would want to sponsor her.
She’d have a phoenix to ride, but she’d be no Phoenix Rider.
Veronyka’s thoughts were spiraling out of control. Surely they wouldn’t turn away a bonded pair. . . . Surely there was a way to make this work.
“ . . . time we discuss Nyk’s position here.”
With a jolt Veronyka realized that the commander had been speaking, and now both he and Tristan were looking at her. She replayed the last few words she’d heard. Nyk’s position here.
Veronyka looked at the commander. If her position was in question, then he must have figured out her secret after all. The knot in her chest loosened somewhat. Maybe it was for the best. Better to get it over with, to squash her dreams once and for all. She might never be a part of the Phoenix Riders, but at least she could do right by her bondmate and get her out of that cage.
“He deserves to be a new recruit,” Tristan said, and Veronyka stared at him. Here he was, standing by her, when their entire relationship was about to be torn to shreds. “I know we don’t have eggs,” Tristan added hastily, before his father could point out the obvious, “but Nyk more than displayed his capability as an animage tonight. To have talent like that working in the stables is a waste.”
“I quite agree,” the commander said. Tristan’s mouth snapped shut, and even Veronyka found herself shocked into stillness. “The boy should not be tending the horses and the hounds, not when his connection to the phoenixes is so strong.”
So the commander hadn’t figured her out. Veronyka’s head was spinning.
“Maybe we can start a secondary apprentice unit,” Tristan said eagerly, pulling out the nearest chair and taking a seat, heartened by his father’s attitude. “One where Rider hopefuls can get a jump on training. They could participate in weapons and combat exercises, our fitness regimen, and observe the rest of us when we ride our mounts. In the meantime, I could put together a third patrol to go hunting for more eggs. If we had permission to skip lessons for a week or two, I bet we could—”
“You’re missing the point here, Tristan,” the commander said, loosening the buttons at the collar of his embroidered tunic and relaxing into his chair. “We’ve just captured a third female. With any luck, we’ll have a clutch of eggs before the winter solstice. There’s no need to go gallivanting across Pyrmont.”
He was talking about Xephyra as if she were a broodmare, as if her only purpose was to be a container for phoenix eggs, a kiln for baking precious warriors, and not a phoenix in her own right. It made Veronyka’s blood boil.
“But the cages don’t work. How many years are we going to keep those females locked up before you accept that?”
“And when will you accept that I will not grant you a patrol just so you can traipse across the countryside and get yourself killed?” the commander said, slamming his hands on the table.
A tense silence fell.
Tristan’s chest was rising and falling rapidly, his lips parted as if he meant to loose a defiant retort. After staring intensely at his father for several weighted breaths, he closed his mouth and dropped his gaze.
Veronyka studied the pair of them. She had never before considered the possibility that it was love that made Commander Cassian hold Tristan back. She was surprised she hadn’t recognized it before, for it resembled Val’s behavior in some ways. How easily a person could convince themselves they were doing the right thing, no matter the damage they did to the person they