Crazy In Love (Secrets of Suburbia #3) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,71

He was right. I was freezing cold. And his body felt like a furnace. It would be impossible to catch a cold if I stayed glued to him.

I wasn't sure if I was dizzy because I was still high or dizzy because of the way he was touching me. Maybe I was just out of oxygen because I was only breathing him in. But I didn't need air when I had him. I breathed in his exhales as he consumed me. And he was more delicious than any brownies. He was more delicious than life itself.

"I think you promised me something," he whispered as his lips moved to my neck.

"What did I promise you?" I moaned as he lightly bit my neck. God, I knew it was possible he was playing me. But it felt so good to be played that I didn't care. Hell, I was a few seconds away from begging him to tie me up and have his way with me.

"You promised if I came out of hiding..." he nibbled on my skin again. "That I could have all of you."

"I don't remember saying that." Lies fell from my lips so easily these days.

"No?" His lips trailed across my clavicle and down to the V in my sweater. "So you want me to stop?"

I wanted to remember what it was like to be loved one last time. Before the cheating. Before the missing cash. Before he ruined my life.

"Tell me to stop and I will. We can go back to the basement." His index finger tugged the front of my sweater down and he placed a kiss between my breasts.

He was willing to go back to the basement. That was good behavior. And in my book, good behavior was supposed to be rewarded. How else would men ever be trained properly?

"Tell me to stop," he said again. It almost sounded like he was begging. Like he was scared of this being too good to be true.

It was. Of course it was. But when life handed you lemons, you were supposed to make lemonade. Life had handed me a cheating husband, so...I was going to fuck his brains out. It was only fair. "Don't stop."

He lifted me up in his arms. "I'll never stop."

But I wasn't talking about sex. I didn't want him to stop loving me. Why had he stopped loving me? I clung to him like I never wanted to let go.

He'd be tripping longer than I would if I'd really been outside making snow angels for four hours. I could have my way with him and then...what? Tie him to the bed. Get the confession I deserved. And then...

Stop.

I'd made a mistake all those years ago by saying yes to his proposal.

Stop.

He'd robbed so many years from me.

Stop.

Yes, I felt whole with him. Yes, he provided for me and bought my dream house in my dream neighborhood. From the outside looking in, Noah was perfect. But perfect was a façade, just like all the other smiling faces behind white picket fences. Noah was unfaithful. Noah was a thief. Noah was...

Stop.

I thought it was easier to breathe his exhales than oxygen. I thought he was my forever. I thought a lot of things.

But the only thing I was thinking right now? I'd breathe easier when his exhales weren't invading my oxygen supply. And when I cut ties on a forever permanently.

There were no maybes about it. I closed my eyes as he carried me upstairs. I'd have one more fun night. One good memory to hold on to in a sea of terrible ones.

Then in the morning...I was going to get my confession. And then...

Stop.

I closed my eyes tighter.

Stop.

But there was no stopping it. I'd already made up my mind. I was pretty sure I'd known all along I'd go through with it. There was no other way out of this hell.

He kissed me harder when we reached the bedroom. Like he was holding on to as much anger from our past as I was. But that would be crazy. I was the jilted one, not him. I was also the crazy one. He'd said it himself. And I was just crazy enough to kill him.

Chapter 23

Monday

For the first time in what felt like weeks, I hadn't stared at the ceiling all night long. I'd actually slept. The combination of pot brownies and a good lay was my new cure for insomnia. Not even the images of blood I’d been seeing bothered me. And that blood