Crazy In Love (Secrets of Suburbia #3) - Ivy Smoak Page 0,63

time to do that once Noah was securely tied up again.

I heard a noise behind me and twirled around.

Nothing.

"Noah?" I waited a beat, but of course no response came. "Noah, come out right this second and help me with the Christmas decorations or I'll...punish you!" For some reason I started laughing. Threatening to punish him wasn't exactly the best idea. I'd been punishing him for days. "Just kidding!" I yelled. "If you come out I'll have sex with you!" I slapped my hand over my mouth. Where the hell had that come from?

But instead of correcting my words, I let them hang in the silence. Noah had made it pretty clear that he at least wanted a kiss. Maybe offering the whole package would lure him out. The whole package? Gross, who refers to themselves like that? Besides, I wasn't just any package. I was one with that expensive gold shiny paper and a beautiful red ribbon. Seriously what am I talking about? I shook my head as I made my way back into the family room.

"Snuggle Muffins, I think I'm high."

He looked up at me. He was still sitting where I left him, the Santa hat sitting askew on his head. I was so upset that I couldn't get a picture of his adorableness.

He sighed.

"I was just kidding about the sex," I whispered. "Obviously. Sleeping with Noah is the last thing on my mind." I ignored the image of his ripped abs as I unwound some of the Christmas garland. "You know I have bigger and better plans than Noah's down under." I started decorating the family room, draping the garland along the TV stand. "Is there a Canadian term for down under? That's probably what he'd prefer. Am I right? Eh?" Stupid Sophia Tremblay and her lies. I knew my husband was sleeping with her.

Snuggle Muffins sat down and his hat fell off.

I started placing my Christmas themed candles around the room. "Yeah, I don't think there is a fun Canadian saying for that either. Not that I'd know. If I knew, maybe Noah would still love me." My hands paused on the candles I was setting on the mantle. Maybe I'd still love him too.

"My head hurts." I turned around. "Does your head hurt?"

Snuggle Muffins sighed.

"Oh my God, are you high? Wait, am I high? Did we figure that out yet? You definitely look high, Snuggle Muffins. Your face is all scrunched up." I tilted my head to the side. Or was his face always like that? Had I never noticed his face before? It was rather adorable.

I heard my name being called.

"Noah?" I glanced into the kitchen.

Then his name was being called.

Snuggle Muffins barked.

My head was acting strange. I must have imagined it. But I could have sworn...

My name was being said out loud again. It wasn't Noah's voice though. I turned around. There was a picture of me staring back at me on the screen. No. Fucking. Way. I grabbed the remote and turned up the volume.

"Noah! We're on! We're on TV! Hurry!"

I watched our names flash across the screen as the news anchor started talking about Noah's disappearance.

"If you have any news about his whereabouts, please contact the number below."

I'm pretty sure I tuned out the rest because I was seriously in shock.

Snuggle Muffins barked at the screen.

"Oh, it's happening, sweetheart. We're going to be famous!" I started doing what could only be described as a touchdown dance. "High five." I put my hand out for Snuggle Muffins.

And he hit it.

What the what? "High five," I said again and put my hand out.

He proceeded to hit it again.

"Oh my God, Snuggle Muffins! You know how to high five? You're adorable and smart, I knew it."

He sighed.

"Noah, you're missing everything! Half the decorations are already up. We were on the freaking news. And Snuggle Muffins is a dog genius!"

No response.

"Our dog is brilliant! Come see!"

Silence.

Kidnapped men were so lame.

I heard a door close and I screamed at the top of my lungs. I grabbed the scalped stuffed animal and then threw it across the room. That was a terrible weapon. Unless I was trying to scare Noah with baldness. I picked up my knife and tried to steady my breathing.

Kidnapped men were also terribly rude and liked to terrorize me. Had I imagined the door closing? I crept out into the kitchen. My brain was definitely acting up. But I swore the basement door was open before. It was closed now. It could have been