Covet - Eve Vaughn Page 0,57
When you got that 50 grand, I had considered taking it when you weren’t paying attention and disappearing. I know that’s a shitty thing to do. Then I saw the dark circles under your eyes, and the stress etched in your face, and for once my conscience overruled my need for another hit. I’m really sorry for putting you in that position. I’ve learned accountability. I can’t continue to keep blaming our parent’s death on my problems especially when I know you were doing the best that you could. There was a point where I blamed you for seeming to have your shit together when I was falling apart.”
His confession was like a blow to my chest. Though he didn’t go through with it, the fact that he thought of double crossing me yet again hurt. But it was pointless to get upset over something that never actually happen and the fact that he’d even told me about it showed a growth on his part I hadn’t seen before.
“Do you really think I had my shit together all the time? I didn’t, Adam. For as long as I can remember, I had to be all and everything for everyone. I had to hold it in my pain after losing the people I love one after the other. First my birth mother, then my grandmother, and then our parents. I had to be strong for you because you were all I had left. I used to cry myself to sleep every night while trying to juggle school, work, and a resentful teenage boy who stayed out all hours of the night. You had so much potential, and you threw it away on heroine. So, my life was a shambles.”
Bright red spots surfaced on Adam’s cheeks, and he hung his head. “I didn’t realize. I’m sorry, Sis. I didn’t make things easy on you, did I?”
“No, you most certainly didn’t. But seeing you like this has given me the hope that I haven’t had in a very long time. I appreciate your commitment to getting better.” I reached over and grasped his hand. For once I actually believed him.
We held hands as a comfortable silence fell between us. I was just starting to piece my life back together, and knowing that things were looking up for Adam would take a big load off my shoulders.
“So how have you been, Sis?”
“I’m actually well. I got a new job as a private nurse, so I will be taking care of one patient, a very lovely woman who has lived a very colorful life.” I had managed to clear up the issue with the nursing board and soon after had found a position something that paid well and provided decent benefits.
Nick had kept his word and wired the rest of the money to my account. I had put most of it away to pay for Adam’s rehab, but I still had enough money left over to find a cute little two-bedroom apartment just outside of the city. I had even managed to rebuild my savings to an amount that would cover a rainy-day emergency.
I was finally finding my new normal, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Nick. He should have been the last person I was thinking about after all he had done to me but deep down inside I still cared. Maybe it was a bit of Stockholm Syndrome. Whatever it was I couldn’t stop thinking about him to the point where I figured something was clearly wrong with me to have suffered through that and still maintained feelings for him.
It bothered me so much that I had started therapy. I was taking baby steps, but things were starting to come together.
“That’s great to hear, Sis.”
“When you get out of here, you’ll stay with me of course.”
“Thank you. I appreciate it. And I promise I will do what I can to earn my keep. I will get a job, and I have plans to apply to art school.”
“That’s great, Adam. You were always very talented. It was a shame when you dropped it.”
“Look, I’m going to be honest with you Frankie. This is the longest I’ve ever been clean since becoming an addict, and when I leave rehab, it will be a daily struggle. The counselling here has taught me other coping mechanism to deal with my issues. I’m an addict, and I always will be, but I am going to fight like hell to maintain my recovery status.”
“And that’s all I could ask