a ton of Joes instead of just one,” I observe, but Joe doesn’t grunt to that.
“Speaking of, I’m excited for Sloppy Joes later—did you see it on the menu? Those things are good. When I was a kid, I always wanted them, but no one in my lounge was allowed to make them for me. I had to get incarcerated to finally be able to try one, but fuck, I’ve been missing out! Like, I don’t even know what they put in that sauce, but I’m telling you, if I could bathe in it, I would.”
A scoffing sort of grunt echoes all around me, and I laugh. “Don’t judge me Joe, I’ve noticed the way you put down the beef stroganoff in this place. I bet if there was a pool of beef stroganoff, your big ass would be in there swimming around too,” I tease.
The long hallway that we’re in winds around to the right, and I suddenly feel like we’re walking uphill, or maybe I’m just out of shape and that’s why I’m suddenly winded.
“Damn, where are Zen and the crew hiding?” I ask, a little breathless and completely lost. “I know Nightmare Penitentiary is big and has a shit ton of different levels and buildings, but I feel like we’re walking a long way. Is there some secret room back here where all the cool kids hang out in or something?” I ask. “Or, ooh, are they throwing me a secret surprise party in honor of my Pop Rocks panties?”
This time, Joe snorts, and I find myself suddenly squealing. “That’s it, isn’t it? Holy shit, I just got so excited, Joe! Is there cake? Oh, please tell me there’s going to be cake!” I start clapping, and there’s a distinct spring in my step.
“Will you shut the fuck up? You’re going to give us away if you keep doing that.” A male voice snips, and I freeze and look all around me for the source.
What the hell?
I do a complete circle of the still empty, unfamiliar hallway, before my eyes land back on Joe. I move closer to him. “Did you hear that, Joe?” I whisper as I stare at the shadows all around us, suddenly feeling very uneasy.
“I not only heard it, I fucking said it,” Joe announces as he looks down at me, his gaze filled with irritation.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head as I stare up at him, completely dumbfounded. My brain can’t process what it means for Joe’s lips to be moving and forming words. He’s never spoken. Not once. Not to anyone.
“I thought you couldn’t talk!” I say, totally flabbergasted.
“Well, you obviously thought wrong,” he replies, his voice much higher pitched than I would’ve imagined.
I frown at him as he starts walking again. “But...you never speak. All the times I’ve talked to you…” My mind drifts off to all our little chats, and my cheeks immediately turn cherry red. “Goddammit, Joe! I told you super embarrassing things!”
He gives me a pointed look, his granite-speckled face looking darker in this shadowed part of the prison. It somewhat resembles the dim corridors that lead to solitary, except I can tell this part of the prison is older. Much older.
“Yeah. I really wished you wouldn’t have told me about the time in high school when you got your period and it bled through your pants on Shine Bright Like a Diamond Day when everyone was wearing white pants.”
My lips pinch together before I let out a groan. “Yeah, hindsight, I shouldn’t have told you that. But really, you only have yourself to blame. If I had known you could repeat my deepest darkest secrets, I wouldn’t have told you any of them.” I pause and run my fingers through my hair with exasperation. “Shit, Joe, what am I going to do now? You were so easy to talk to!”
“Because you’re the only one talking,” he replies dryly.
“I don’t see your point.”
He shakes his head. “Come on. We’re almost there.”
“Almost where?” I ask, looking around much more warily. Two minutes ago, I thought I was following my prison bestie to a celebration. Now, I don’t know who this dude is and where he might be taking me.
In answer, Joe stops in front of an iron door that’s being propped open with a brick. He pushes it open, and I see an eerie set of stairs leading up. “This way.”
“Damn, our prison squad needs to find a less creepy hang out place,” I announce in