The Conundrum of Collies (Love & Pets #6) - A.G. Henley Page 0,52

in love. And this was where you met Logan, your very best friend.”

I sit on the swing and pump my legs gently, getting it moving. I still get a bit of a head rush from swings, although not until I’m going a lot higher and faster. “I have good memories of this house, too.” I finger the metal chains of the swing. They’re rusted, but still strong. “You were a really good mom, you know. The best.”

She gave me everything she possibly could, from love to strength to guidance to the occasional grounding when it was needed. She even found me a loving stepfather and an amazing stepsister, who has since brought a loyal brother-in-law and an adorable and fun niece into my life. They love me despite my bad traits. What more could I ask for from family?

Mom sits on the bottom of the slide. “Thank you, Stevie. That means a lot to me. I worry about you, you know.”

I lick my lips nervously. “I’m fine, Mom. Really.”

“I know you are. You’ve created a career for yourself, on your own terms, and you have good friends, including that sweet dog of yours. But I want even more for you. A dog is a wonderful companion, but you need a life partner. Someone to love and care for . . . and someone to love and care for you.”

I stare at my feet as I swing. New Converse are needed; these are almost shot. I’ve had a series of about eight pairs of these sneakers over the last fifteen years. I’m attached to them. If I’m honest, I don’t really like change. New things scare me. Maybe that’s why I put off tackling my bucket list for five years.

Mom watches me fidget, and when I don’t answer, she sighs. “Stevie, what’s going on with Logan?”

It’s my turn to let out a long breath. “We’ve . . . hit a rough patch.”

“What kind?”

I tell her everything, haltingly. Our playful discussions about getting together over the years. Feeling things had changed between us recently. Trying to push him toward Emmy. His note. How he slipped Bean inside the other night without another word. Mom nods knowingly, like she’s not even surprised.

“Why do I feel like you already know all this?” I ask suspiciously.

She wrinkles her nose. Her makeup is perfectly matte despite the warm afternoon sun. How does she do that? I’ve never known. Half the stuff other people do are a mystery to me.

“Well, Tamara and Dean heard from Logan that his feelings toward you had been shifting. They helped him cook up the plan to take you skydiving and give you the note. He thought it would make for a really great story, but . . .”

“I ruined it.” I hang my head. I didn’t handle any of this well. Not at all.

“But Stevie, it’s all right if you don’t share Logan’s feelings. I know you two are very, very close, but sometimes feelings don’t change from friendship to more for both people. Sometimes that’s only in Hollywood, and it could even be for the best. Some friendships should stay just that. But what does Logan say? Have you spoken to him?”

My head hangs lower, and I mumble, “Not exactly. I haven’t been sure what to say.”

Mom nods. “I wondered if that might be the case when you asked to come over. Well, how are you feeling about him?”

I let go of the red-brown chains and throw up my hands, almost falling back into the grass. “I don’t know! I’m terrible at figuring out how I feel.”

She thinks about that. “Let me ask you this, then. Picture your life a year from now. What does it look like? What’s different, and what’s the same?”

I answer immediately. “Everything’s the same. Everything’s exactly the same. Logan and I still live together with Bean.”

She makes an encouraging sound. “And are you friends? Or more than that?”

I drag my feet on the ground to stop the swing. “I don’t know! That’s what I can’t figure out. I don’t want to lose what I have—or had—with Logan. And I’m so afraid I’m about to lose that, no matter what I do or say! Why did he have to do this? Why couldn’t we stay the way we were?”

Tears well, and a teensy tiny connection makes its way through my brain. I was terrified of losing Bean on Thursday. And now I’m terrified of losing Logan.

Is that how I want to live? Do I want to