Confessions from the Quilting Circle - Maisey Yates Page 0,58

her to come up here if I would’ve known...”

“It’s okay,” Anna said. Laura had no idea how okay it was. Considering that she had been so gloriously defended by someone she wasn’t related to.

Hannah sucked up her face like she was drinking lemon juice through a straw and turned, walking through the door at the same time Rachel appeared.

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go for a walk. Fresh air.”

She didn’t know why her sister was holding on to her so tightly, or marching her quite so insistently down the porch stairs. Until she started to shake. And cry.

And she realized that Rachel had seen that the breakdown was coming before Anna had. She pushed open the gate on the white picket fence, and the two of them walked down the paved path that zigzagged down the hill and toward the beach. The clouds were low, the mist rolling in, and the sun had faded into nothing, never visible today as it had been hidden behind a thick blanket of gray.

The ocean churned angrily, all froth and rage, swelling up to the shore.

She related to the ocean today.

She hadn’t thought anything could shock her like this, not now. After the shock of her own behavior, after the shock of Thomas calling her out in a public venue, she’d thought she’d reached the limit.

But not here.

This place, this house, was her refuge. It always had been. And it had been especially in this last month. And Hannah had come up here and taken that from her.

She had taken this place where she was beginning to rebuild herself, bit by bit, and she had reminded her that wherever she went in Sunset Bay...someone would know. And someone would have an opinion.

And in some cases, would be absolutely and completely bound to making her feel bad.

And maybe for every five of them there would be a Laura.

But she would definitely be rarer than those who came to point and laugh at her failure.

Because it wasn’t as gratifying to try to lift someone up as it was to kick them while they were down.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done,” Anna said suddenly.

Rachel zipped up her coat, stuffing her hands in her pockets, and continued walking beside her. “If what? If Laura hadn’t of come out there? No worries. I was going to punch her in the face.”

“No. Not that.” Anna kept on walking, the mist stinging her face. But she didn’t mind. It gave her some relief from the stinging in her chest.

“What if it wasn’t me?” Anna asked. “What if it had been one of the worship pastor’s wives? What if it was some other woman at the church? It has been. Over the years it has been. I might not have been Hannah, but I was never Laura for them, either. It was easy for me to just turn away and pretend it didn’t happen. For me...partly because I was afraid that if I would have let myself speak to someone who had gotten out of their marriage I would have started thinking about my own. And I put that off for as many years as I could. Trust me on that.” She cleared her throat. “I feel alone. And it so easy for me to be upset, but I wouldn’t have been a better person. I just wouldn’t have been.”

“You don’t know that,” Rachel said.

“No,” Anna said. “I do. I do. And the bottom line is whatever motivates someone like Hannah, it’s not actually just to make me feel bad. She needs to hold that position that she does because...if she doesn’t maybe her life will break apart.”

“Or maybe,” Rachel said, grabbing hold of Anna’s arm as the path ended, turning into sand, “she’s a bitch.”

Anna laughed. “I mean, maybe that, too. But... I don’t know. This is the problem. I spent a whole lot of time without any perspective at all, and now... I’m so desperate for people to try and see deeply into what I did that I’m trying to see more in what everyone is and does.”

“Yeah, being empathetic isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

“I don’t have the energy for it,” Anna said. “I just want to be angry. I can’t even have that.”

“Maybe that’s that personal growth I’m always hearing about? I’ve been told that I am experiencing an enormous amount of that.”

“No way,” Anna said.

“Not since Jacob died. But when he was sick. I’m extra strong, Anna. That’s what I hear. God gave him to me because