Confessions from the Quilting Circle - Maisey Yates Page 0,129

posture, her chin held high, her movements bright and aggressive as she whipped about the kitchen, going in and out and serving guests, taking the helm like she was powered by caffeine and the Holy Spirit.

“What exactly is going on?” She directed that question at Rachel, who could not have looked more downtrodden if she tried.

“What do you mean?”

“Anna has a literal spring in her step, you look awful and Emma...” She looked over at her granddaughter.

“I think Luke is going to break up with me,” Emma said glumly.

“Why?” Rachel and Wendy asked at the same time.

“I told him I loved him and he got weird. He couldn’t tell me he loved me, too, and I told him I needed to hear it.”

“Oh,” Rachel said.

“I didn’t think it seemed unreasonable. We’re talking about being long-distance for years. And I...”

“You don’t have to justify yourself,” Rachel said. “You asked for what you wanted.”

“But I’m sad. Because I don’t want him to break up with me.”

“Why are you afraid he’s going to break up with you?”

“Because I told him if he couldn’t give me what I wanted, then he was the one that had to do it. I’m not giving him an easy out.”

Wendy laughed. “Well, I’m proud of you for that,” she said.

“Why didn’t anyone warn me how terrible this was?” Emma asked plaintively.

“I think we are all literally walking examples of how terrible this is,” Rachel said. “If you couldn’t make that observation, that’s on you.”

“I’m only eighteen,” Emma said.

“I thought you were wizened,” Rachel commented.

“Against my will,” Emma responded.

Anna came back in looking chipper. “What did I miss?”

“What did we miss?” Wendy asked.

“Thomas told the whole church that he was wrong about the way that he handled me. Then Michael came back, and I told him to go away. I feel...like I’m finally living my life. And it’s amazing.”

“Wow.” Wendy looked at Anna, pride coursing through her. “I’m proud of you. You did what I couldn’t manage for years. You’re strong, Anna. And I’m so glad you’re here, on the other side. I’m so glad you got yourself out, and didn’t let yourself stay so unhappy.”

Anna’s eyes went misty. She cleared her throat. “And someday...well, I’m open to finding someone. I hope I do. But it won’t be good unless I know who I am first. Unless I love me.”

“Well, you know we love you,” Wendy said.

“We love you, Mom,” Rachel said quietly. “I’m sorry about what I said. When you told us the truth. I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry that it was so easy for me to judge both of you,” she said, looking between Wendy and Anna. “Because I knew hardship, a very particular kind, and I thought because I did that I understood everything. But I had someone that I loved, and I had a lot of security in that. I hadn’t... Hadn’t dealt with how things can get so...messy.”

She stopped. “Even Emma has more experience with it than I do. And is probably handling it better.”

“Adam?” Anna had mentioned that Rachel was with Adam the other night, and Wendy knew enough to put the pieces together. The diner owner was a good man, and a handsome one. It didn’t surprise her that Rachel had feelings for him.

“Yes. I miss him. I miss him, and I miss him right over the top of missing Jacob, and I don’t know what any of that means. I don’t know...”

Wendy grabbed hold of Rachel’s hand. “You’re not going to stop missing Jacob. You don’t have to. I spent some time with a man recently who talked to me a bit about the death of his wife. And one of the things he said stuck with me. It doesn’t go away. I don’t think it ever does. It doesn’t shrink or grow smaller. But your life can grow around it. All of this love—your family, Adam—can expand. And that pain will be there, always. Something that you carry with you. A remnant of that love that you had. But everything you have now can grow brighter. Bigger. And eventually you don’t think of the pain every day. Eventually, it’s not the biggest thing.”

She nodded slowly. “I realized the other night that there was nothing more I could do for him. And part of me is still...trying. Because I know how to do things. I know how to show love that way. I know how to hold pain at bay that way. Adam wants to take care of me. And