Coming Home to Seashell Harbor (Seashell Harbor #1) - Miranda Liasson Page 0,112
head’s been in your rearview mirror.”
Cam crossed his arms, not really wanting to hear his dad’s take on what he already knew but fearing that he was right. “How so?”
“You haven’t slowed down enough to take time to think. And you’re letting ghosts from the past take the driver’s seat.”
“I always take the driver’s seat in my life.”
“Well, this time you took the wheel and crashed the car,” his dad said.
Ouch.
Just as he was reeling from that, his dad reached over the table and patted him on the cheek like he was twelve years old. “You’re my tough kid,” he said. “My rebel. You always wanted to get out of here and see other places, do things.”
Cam shrugged. “I’m glad I saw the world. But I like being back home.”
“You’ve made us all proud. There was a time I wondered if I was even capable of raising good kids. I’m thrilled you all turned out okay.”
He flicked his gaze up at his dad. “What did you just say?”
“When your mother left, you were eight, Nick was five, and Lucy was one and a half. That was my curveball.”
Of course it was. How had he not even thought of that? His dad had been left alone to raise three kids. And he’d never complained, never talked about how that—they—had altered his life.
His dad drummed his fingers on the table. “Maybe I never told you this, but I wanted to start a restaurant.”
That made Cam sit straight up. Yes, his dad was a phenomenal cook. Yes, he often cooked for fun. But a restaurant?
His dad nodded. “I’d been saving up for a down payment, but after your mother left, I put it toward a college fund for you kids. The restaurant business has bad hours for a single parent, you know?”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me this?” Cam asked. A restaurant? How could he not have known?
“I’m not complaining about how my life turned out. I’m happy with our business. But maybe I should’ve told you more about my struggles. And dreams. You and I are alike in some ways. We don’t talk about our own issues.”
“Maybe we need to do a little more of that.” A lot more.
His dad nodded. “After she left, you kept watch by the front window. Do you remember that?”
Cam shook his head. Thank God he didn’t.
And then he realized his dad was talking about his mother, and he never did that.
“Every night, you’d leave your bed and drag your blanket out to the living room and fall asleep by the window. You told me you wanted to be the first one to see her when she came back. Imagine, having to break a young child’s heart and tell him his mother wasn’t ever coming back.”
Cam winced. “That must’ve been terrible for you.”
Angelo nodded. “That’s when you started to do everything perfect. You fixed your bed without a wrinkle. You got the highest grades. You excelled in all the sports. Looking back, I thought, I don’t have to worry about that kid. You were so driven, such a hard worker. But truth is, I should’ve worried about you the most.”
“No, Pop, no.” He put a hand on his dad’s shoulder. “I did fine. You raised me fine.” Geez, his eyes were watering.
And, to his shock, his dad’s were too.
“Maybe you thought that if you were perfect at everything, she’d come back and love you again.”
Cam rubbed his neck. The conversation was uncomfortable. “I got something good out of it,” he said. “I’m determined.”
“Maybe too determined.”
He lifted his head. “What?” He’d never heard that before. Ever.
“Yeah. I mean…maybe taking a step back for a while is a good thing,” his dad said in a musing tone. “Maybe take a little time off.”
“I’ve had eight months off.” An eternity.
“All I’m saying is, it’s okay not to know where you’re going for a little bit.” His dad spoke animatedly, with lots of hand gestures, reminding Cam of advice his dad had doled out to all three of them over the years, especially when they were teenagers. Probably the last time they’d sat and talked like this. “But that doesn’t mean you should turn everyone away until you’re perfect again. There’s no such thing as perfect. People who love us, love us for our warts.”
“Hadley pretty much told me the same thing.”
“I knew I liked that girl,” his dad said.
“I love her too, Dad.” That had slipped right out of his mouth without thinking. Yet it felt exactly right.