His head cocked, eyes wandering over my face for a moment too long. “Was she wrong? I saw you in there. You were lost in the music like you used to be. It was refreshing to see.”
I blushed. “I was lost in my head counting the steps. Which, like I told you before, I messed up. I’m not that great at contemporary yet.”
“Nobody would have noticed.”
My nostrils flared as I stabbed my food and lifted it. “Everybody would have.”
He let me chew and swallow before saying anything else. I didn’t like his eyes on me right now. Not when my stomach was twisted with an explanation that I couldn’t grasp myself. Why did I dance when Tiffany wasn’t around? It seemed simple enough. To prove I could. But deep down it was more. When I looked in the mirror as I moved my feet, my hips, my arms, it was like I was watching the old version of me. The one I didn’t hate so much because she still had her mom cheering her on and her family together. She was happy. Lost in a world of music because there was nothing else she had to worry about.
Then there was the other old version of me that did it because I couldn’t stop myself. She won the battles more than I liked admitting, succumbing to hunger cramps that doubled her over in pain while her reflection smiled manically.
“If you’d let me, I’d like to explain,” he said after silence engulfed us in an uncomfortable blanket. “It isn’t going to be easy to hear, but you need to hear it from me before someone else leaks the information.”
The frown was instant, but the concern weighed in my chest like an anvil was dropped dead center on my ribcage. Wasn’t that what I was waiting for? Why I’d needed to escape into a world of overworked muscle and choppy breath? I thought it’d been because of the reporter who’d harassed Lydia, even though she never reached out saying he had brought it up again. It was like the story vanished into thin air, which I knew wasn’t the case. It was just easier to pretend it was for a while.
“The list of names that was given to The Times is tied to a very powerful man, Della. He’s looking to tarnish any reputation the Saint James family has left so people won’t consider the possibility that there’s truth in what could be spoken.”
All I could do was stare at him. I’d figured Lydia had told him about the list since she was keen on getting him to talk to me, but I’d never let him in until today.
“This man…” His sigh was burdened. “I know you understand the world we live in is a shitty, dark place. But what I’m about to tell you goes beyond that.”
“Theo.” My heart pounded so hard it hurt.
“I told you not too long ago that I’d tell you what’s been going on when the time came. I was just hoping I wouldn’t have to. I’ve had people investigate it, and it looks like your father might have had information that could have gotten his sentence reduced. Maybe even lowered to parole. He could have gotten out.”
A piece of me splintered off. “He…what? They said—”
“The system was set against him, Della. It was from the beginning because there were people who chose to save themselves before him. They made him take the fall for it all. There were phone records that indicated he’d been talking with his attorney about the case, giving names of the other people involved. With that kind of information, it would have changed things for him. For all of you. Anthony…he always wanted what was best for his family. He and Elizabeth had strong values when it came to that. If he was making a deal, it was for you.”
My throat tightened. Swallowing was impossible, the food in front of me no longer looked appetizing at all. Everything was crashing around me as I stared at Theo with unblinking eyes. “It doesn’t matter now though. So why are you telling me this? It only hurts more.” The crack in my tone had him closing his eyes for a split second and that’s when I knew.
I knew what he was going to say would change everything.
And it did.
“Your father was killed to make sure the people involved wouldn’t be dragged down with him. And at least one of the people