There was another pause between us, but now it was heavy as we stared at each other. It was me who broke the silence first, my timid step toward him the first sign that something was about to happen that should have been second guessed, should have been reconsidered. But when my small hand palmed his wide chest, right over his heart, all that discipline and reason escaped him with the sharp exhale of breath I was rewarded with.
“Theo?” I studied him through my lashes, our eyes locked as my palm pressed over him with firm determination. “I really am sorry, even if you say I shouldn’t be. You and my father were friends too, and it wasn’t fair for me to say those things to you. We both miss him. We both cared.”
Placing his hand over mine, he squeezed my fingers once. “That doesn’t make it any easier to accept. You don’t need to apologize for how you feel, Della. I never want you to hold that in. You shouldn’t have to. You of all people deserve to be angry, to lash out, to be pissed off at the world. I expect it.”
One of my shoulders lifted. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.” Before he could tell me we needed to do, I shook my head and raised on my tiptoes. My lips brushed the bottom of his jaw, causing another small breath to escape his pressed lips.
“Della, now isn’t the right time.”
My hands found his waist, resting there instead of lingering like I wanted them to. My lips remained where they were, the light kiss no more than a chaste gesture that I’d done at my father’s funeral. Except, the kiss between us now wasn’t a kiss goodbye. His eyes closed for only a moment before his hand finally came down and cupped my cheek, moving away enough to look down at me fully.
“Theo? I need…” Swiping the tip of my tongue over my bottom lip, I exhaled heavily and fisted his shirt in my palms. “I don’t know.”
His thumb caressed my jaw. “What don’t you know? Tell me what I can do.”
My lips rubbed together before I caught his eye again. I whispered, “I don’t know anything anymore.” My hoarse words made him pull me back into him and rest his chin on top of my head as I curled tightly into the body he was offering me.
I heard heels behind us and figured it was his secretary, Abigail. With my back turned, I could only guess that the abrupt stop was from her seeing us like this, wrapped up in one another and not caring. Maybe we should have. I was sure Theo did since he was the one hesitant to take this step so publicly, and while I did try to understand his predicament, it didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
When the heels turned and faded down the hall after a click of the door, no words spoken verbally between them, long fingers ran through my hair until I tipped my chin up to see if he was looking at me. Drawing my bottom lip into my mouth and nibbling, I felt his cock hardening in his slacks between us.
“Della…” His voice was hoarse with a warning that I didn’t listen to. I could tell his defenses were down too as I rolled my hips into his length until a hearty groan rose from his throat. I wasn’t sure which one of us made the move first, but eventually our lips were pressed against each other’s and his tongue parted my lips as my arms wrapped around his broad shoulders and yanked him down toward me to close the height distance. He tasted like liquor and tobacco and I hated it and loved it because I loved him. So much. And I needed this even more than I needed anything else.
“Please,” I said against him as his hands found my butt and gripped me as the kiss deepened. My head was tilted back as he took over, the kiss controlling but soft and slow and torturous as he started walking backwards, my feet on his like we were dancing until he was sitting on the edge of his desk. The grip on my backside tightened as he pressed me into him, letting me feel how badly he wanted me, and I did the first thing I could think of.