“By buying me expensive clothes and keeping me here in your fancy apartment?”
“Jesus, are you going to punish me for the rest of my life for having nice things, for going to a good school and getting an education? Is that the way this is always going to be between us?”
“I’m trying,” she cried.
“No, you’re punishing me for the mistakes I made thirteen years ago. You keep saying that you’ve let this go, that you’ve moved on. You just fucking told me that, but when I try and buy you one fucking outfit to wear to a lunch, you flip out and act like I’m changing your life.”
“You’re changing who I am! You don’t like who I am now. I can see it in your eyes. When you walk into my trailer, you look at me and you see trash. When you look at my clothes, you see someone that’s not good enough for you.”
I tilted my head to the side and sighed. “Is that what you think? You think I think you’re beneath me or something?” Now that I knew what the issue was, I could work with her on this. “Anna, when I look at you in that trailer or in your crappy car, I don’t see someone that’s less than me. I see how much I let you down. I see how I went off and got everything I ever wanted while I left you behind to do it all on your own. I feel like shit because I didn’t take care of you like I promised I would. Me buying you those clothes isn’t me trying to change you. I just don’t want you walking into that restaurant and having people staring at you.”
“You don’t know that people would,” she said.
“Yes, I do. This is the world I live in. I know exactly how these people look down on anyone that’s not up to their standards. Do you think I want that for you? I know you’d be more comfortable at a different restaurant, but this is what Rebecca wants and you don’t really have a say in it. So, I can buy you something so that the vultures don’t circle as soon as you walk in there. So, you sit there and have lunch with Rebecca and then you never have to wear that outfit again.”
She crossed her arms over her chest and refused to look at me. I walked up to her and gripped her chin between my thumb and finger, bringing her gaze to meet mine.
“You could wear a sack and I would still love you. I never stopped. But if you can’t see that, if all you can see is the difference in money, that’s an issue you have to deal with.”
I leaned in and pressed a kiss to her cheek, then headed into the bedroom. I didn’t care about dinner. I just wanted this day to be over. I took a shower and hung up my suit to be taken to the dry cleaners, then climbed into bed and shut off the light. I was almost asleep when I felt her slip into bed and curl herself around me. I grasped her hand in mine and drifted off to sleep.
Anna
Robert was gone before I was up the next morning. He forgave me in a way when I came to bed. He took my hand in his and pulled me tighter. I guess that was something. And as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. What had me so upset yesterday was a combination of feeling pushed into going to this lunch and feeling like I just wasn’t good enough for him. Those were my feelings, and I had to get over them. I knew Robert didn’t see me that way, but I did feel inadequate, no matter how much I tried to tell myself differently.
And when the limo showed up outside Robert’s apartment, I was suddenly very grateful that he had taken me shopping. Had I gone in my jeans and blouse, I would have felt extremely out of place. When the driver came around to my side once we reached the restaurant, my nerves were already flying off the charts. When he opened the door and I looked up at the front of the building, they kicked into overdrive.
Mustering all the confidence I had, I took a deep breath and pulled my shoulders back, doing my best