“So, you decided that asking her to move away from her home, her job, her life, and go live some fairytale in the city would be better,” Will deadpanned.
“What the hell, guys? I thought you would be happy for me.”
“We are,” Joe insisted, “but I think you’ve got this one all wrong. Anna likes living in the country. Why would she just pick up and leave everything?”
“Because she loves me, you idiot.”
“It’s not just about love,” Eric said. “You can’t just ask her to give up everything and go live somewhere else. Especially since you’ve only been seeing her for less than a month.”
“It’s not like I’m asking her to move to Kansas,” I snapped.
“She’d probably be okay with Kansas,” Joe muttered.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Do you even know Anna anymore?” Will asked. “I mean, you’re talking about uprooting her whole life to go do what? Your big plan is that she can go back to school?”
“Look, when we were kids, all we ever talked about was getting away. She didn’t want to live here. She wanted something different. I can give that to her.”
“Yeah, but that was when her mom was a drunk, she was in love with a kid that didn’t know how to fuck, and that boyfriend hadn’t broken her heart yet.”
I tossed a chip at Andrew. “You’re such a douchebag. I want her in my life, and not just on the weekends. This is the next logical step.”
“Then why can’t you move down here?” Joe asked.
“Because I work in Chicago.”
“Ah,” Eric nodded. “And your work is important, but hers isn’t.”
“Exactly,” I said incredulously, then realized my error when they all stared me down. “I just mean that I have an established job and she doesn’t.”
“She’s been working with me for over a year,” Eric pointed out.
“Yeah, but it’s just a job. Anyone can be a secretary.”
“God, you sound like a dick,” Will said, shaking his head. “I hope that when you ask Anna to move in with you, you don’t tell her that her job is so easy a cat could do it.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No, but it’s what she’s going to hear. And then, not only are you not going to get her to move in with you, you’ll also be single. As in, never see or hear from her again. Yanking the chain on your own. Back to screwing desperate women that only want you for your money. Buying your own casket because no one else will care when you die.”
“Wow, thanks for showing how much you care.”
Will shook his head. “Hey, you’re the one digging your own grave.”
“Just do me a favor,” Eric asked. “Wait just a little longer. I mean, the wedding is in a week and I don’t want Kat to be depressed when she finds out one of her bridesmaids is fleeing the state.”
“Seriously, I’m just asking her to move in with me!”
“Has she agreed that you’re in a relationship yet?” Andrew asked.
I looked at him funny. “Of course, she knows we’re in a relationship.”
“But has she said that you’re in a relationship? Because she’s been saying for a long time that you’re together not in a relationship. Which, by the way, makes absolutely no sense.”
“No, it does,” Joe nodded. “It’s like, they’re together, but not together.”
“Like I said,” Andrew shook his head. “That makes no sense. Either you’re together or you’re not. And if you still don’t have a definitive answer, do not ask her to move in with you.”
I looked at Eric and jerked my chin in his direction. “What do you think?”
“Who me? I don’t know that I’m the person to answer that. After all, I just hired a woman that could do a job that anyone could do.”
I threw my head back and sighed. “That’s not what I meant.”
“It’s what you said. Sorry, man, but there is no way you will convince her right now to move in with you with that attitude.”
“What attitude? That attitude that I want to be with her?”
“Okay, first of all,” Will said, putting down his cards. “You didn’t once speak of love or needing her. You said it would be more convenient. Second,-“
“You know I love her.”
He held up his hand and continued. “Second, you should be thinking about what she wants. She gave up a freaking year of her life because she was having your baby. And by the time the baby came, you were off doing your thing and had completely forgotten about her.”