your mom. It’s supposed to be the other way around.”
A lump formed in my throat at his words. There were so many days that I just wished that someone would take care of me. I was tired of being the one to make sure that groceries were in the house and the bills were paid. I hated that I had to have an after school job instead of playing sports like my friends. It was my job to clean up the house, and my job to collect the numerous beer cans from around her chair every morning. I wanted to hate my mom, but alcoholism was a sickness. I had done a lot of research on it.
After my dad died, she just stopped caring. I wasn’t enough for her. She started drinking to feel better, and it wasn’t long before drinking was the only thing that brought her comfort. The bartenders had my phone number pinned to the wall at the bar, knowing when to call me, which happened at least once a week. But two weeks ago, she stopped going to work. She just gave up. We were running out of money, but I couldn’t tell Robert that. He was already angry at my mom for the way she treated me. I couldn’t tell him that we were about to lose everything. For one night, I wanted to escape. I wanted to feel like a normal teenager. I wanted to feel loved by someone with no expectations.
I rolled toward him and rested my hand on his chest. “Robert, I want…I mean…I want to go all the way with you.”
His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Anna, we already talked about this. We agreed we should wait.”
Tears filled my eyes at his rejection. Damnit, just once I wanted to feel loved. “Please,” I whispered tearfully. “Just tonight. I just want you. I need you.”
He slowly slid his hand through my hair and kissed me lightly. His hand shook as he slid it over my body. I was scared. We hadn’t done that much. He had touched my breasts a few times, but we never took it further. I was asking him for so much more now, and I wasn’t completely sure that I was ready, but I was desperate to feel something else.
His hand hovered over my jeans and he released a shaky breath. “Are you sure about this?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
His fingers fumbled as he tried to undo my buttons. “I’ll do it,” I said, taking over for him. I slowly pushed down my pants and my underwear, then pulled my shirt over my head. He stared at me, his eyes wide as he took everything in. I was nervous and immediately covered myself, sure that I wasn’t quite what he had imagined. He swallowed hard and quickly pulled off his pants and then his shirt. He fumbled in his wallet for a condom and quickly rolled it on.
I leaned back in the grass, resting on my elbows as he climbed on top of me. We were both shaking, neither of us knowing what to do. His cock wedged itself between my legs and I widened them, accommodating him as best I could. He let out a shaky breath and laughed.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed.
“Neither do I.”
“Okay,” he said, nodding slightly. “We’ll just…take this slowly.”
“Okay.”
He leaned down and kissed me, his warm skin pressing against mine as his hands started moving over my body. I was feeling so many things, but I had no idea what was normal and what was crazy. Then I felt his cock at my entrance.
“Are you ready?”
I nodded, unable to speak. He slowly started pushing in and I tightened in response. Tears filled my eyes with every move he made.
“Oh, God, are you okay?” he said, completely panicked. “Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
“No, I want this.”
He nodded and pushed forward some more. I could tell he was holding back. His whole body was shaking hard. In one hard thrust, he ripped through me, making me cry out in pain. He stopped immediately and pressed kisses to my lips, apologizing for hurting me. Eventually, he started moving again. His thrusts were jerky and unsure, but he never stopped kissing me. I didn’t come that time. I was just glad that it was over, that I had taken that step with him. When he came just minutes later, he looked at me like I was the most precious thing in the world. He kissed me