Collaring Chaz (Dante's Infernal #2) - Joel Abernathy Page 0,49

to worry about being heard. He kept playing, so I guess I’d been spared that humiliation, which was a good thing, because I wasn’t sure I could take being face-to-face with him.

All the emotions I’d gone through in the last few hours paled in comparison to this. It was like everything had just congealed into a deep, piercing pain that made me want to laugh at any other time I thought I’d had my heart broken. Now that it had actually happened, now that the final pieces of me were shattered, there was no mistaking it for anything else.

Before I could get caught, I swept myself out of the room like a pile of trash to hide until the ceremony, assuming I somehow managed to pull it together. I cried, because that was just what weak, pathetic pieces of shit did when they finally came face to face with a reality that should have been obvious from the very beginning, but they were hollow tears, more mechanical than anything else.

It was a relief, more than anything. Now there was nothing left to lose.

Chapter 18

Rafael

I’d spent all day dreading the ceremony, but now that I was standing at the side of the altar of love, wearing an obnoxiously bright red tie I wouldn’t have been caught dead in otherwise, I felt…

Fine.

Not thrilled, obviously. The heartache was still there. The fruitless thoughts of what might have been if life had taken a few slightly different turns. The combination of nostalgia and pride I felt as I watched my best friend standing at the altar, ready to make the biggest commitment of his life.

There were plenty of times I hadn’t expected Dante to live to this point, so all my personal hangups aside, the fact that he was not only still here but thriving filled me with enough joy to drown out the angst.

Mostly.

Guess putting that song to rest was an effective exorcism after all, even if the effects were somewhat delayed.

Drake was standing next to me, a sour expression on his face. He had taken the news about as well as I had, though he’d been given less time to process it. Chaz was on Cash’s side along with Bonnie, who’d flown in for the occasion. I hadn’t seen him at all before the ceremony, but to my relief, he seemed back to his old self. If anything, he was even more cheerful than usual, snickering at something Bonnie had whispered to him.

After the ceremony, I needed to talk to him while I still had the clarity of knowing what I wanted, as new as it was. Once the confusion had worn off when I realized I’d rewritten that song in my heart, it seemed painfully obvious that it had always been pointing to him.

I’d finally let go of every cord that still had me wrapped up in Dante, or at least my imaginary idea of him. In reality, I knew he wasn’t the person I’d fallen in love with once upon a time, and that was okay. It was good, because I loved this version of him just as much, and he was a hell of a lot easier to be friends with.

For once, I realized it was enough.

That knowledge naturally coincided with the realization that my friendship with Chaz wasn’t enough. It was still the most precious thing I possessed, and the thought of risking it scared the ever living fuck out of me, but I owed it to him and myself to at least try. Otherwise, the what ifs and wondering were going to take a toll on us, just as they had with my relationship with Dante.

The ceremony itself was simple, but surprisingly quaint. The minister was dressed like an Elvis knockoff, but a nice one. Other than the cheesy fake doves hanging from the ceiling, it was a nice little chapel.

Cash and Dante were grinning at each other like idiots, hand in hand, and if we made it through the night without them tearing each other’s clothes off, it would be a miracle.

I held my breath in anticipation when the time finally came. It was the test of whether I really had finally let it go, or if I was just engaging in more delusion.

“Do you, Cash Leeson, take Dante to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the minister began, looking at Cash. It was weird to see him in a suit, or anything other than a plaid shirt, but he looked good. “To have and to hold,