Collaring Chaz (Dante's Infernal #2) - Joel Abernathy Page 0,4
like this? Why did I have to want the one person I couldn’t have?
I’d lived in fear of losing Dante for years, but I hadn’t expected it to be this way. I certainly hadn’t expected I would like the guy who took him from me. Hell, I was grateful, because he’d been able to take care of Dante in ways I’d tried and failed on more than one occasion. He was what Dante needed, regardless of what I wanted, and I was happy for them.
I really was.
But that didn’t stop my traitorous heart from playing games with my head.
Without even realizing it, I had gone off my intended course and found myself in front of the apartment building of the one person who’d ever been able to take my mind off anything. Even Dante, even if it was only for a night.
I’d gone to the munch hoping I’d find a cute little sub to bury sorrows in for a few weeks before we went on tour, but instead, I ended up back here. Back in the sanctuary of the one relationship I hadn’t managed to royally fuck up.
Yet.
Chapter 3
Chaz
I was the first one in the studio, as usual. It was a Saturday, so everyone was probably going to be grumpy about having to wake up so early. I, on the other hand, had been awake all night. Having insomnia paid off sometimes.
I tuned up my bass--Cherry, because everything that has a soul should have a name--and cleaned up around the studio from the last session. We had it rented twenty-four seven since Dante sometimes liked to come in the middle of the night when inspiration struck him, and he could do a lot of damage in little time even though he didn’t really throw tantrums anymore.
It didn’t take too long to tidy up, and there was no sign of anyone yet, so I grabbed an empty book of blank sheet music and decide to fuck around.
Once I got tired of drawing penises, I started scribbling down my bass line for the newest song we had to rehearse. I’d already memorized it, but I was bored, and writing it down helped. I got a little carried away and started correcting some parts I thought would sound better with some more intensity. Eventually, that led to flirting with some ideas for new songs that had been rattling around in my head. There was no point in writing everyone’s parts, since it was never going to be played, but it was kind of fun, and I didn’t have anything better to do.
It had been years since my last official music class. It was pretty much the only class in high school I hadn’t tanked, but since I didn’t write anything, I was definitely kind of rusty.
How Dante used to do this while totally trashed was beyond me.
I hit a dead end with the music after I’d been waiting for half an hour and the others still hadn’t showed up yet, so I decided to mess around with lyrics a little. It had always looked easy enough, but six failed haikus and ten wadded pieces of paper in the trash later, I was ready to give up.
Why was this so hard? Dante and Raf never had any trouble. Even Cash had written a few songs with Dante since he’d started touring with us. With few exceptions, they were all love songs of one variety or another.
Maybe that was it. They could all write shit that wasn’t cringy because they all had experience. Love, heartbreak, romance. It was all part of some world I just wasn’t privy to, no matter how much I wanted to be.
The only thing I really understood was longing. What it's like to look at someone who feels like a part of you, but you’re just something they can wear and take off whenever they want.
Hey, that wasn’t terrible. I scribbled it down and started writing snippets of whatever came to mind. I could just match it to the music later.
Not that I was going to actually write the song.
You’re everything I’ve ever wanted, but I’m not even on your list.
To me, it’s hard to break for breath; to you it’s just a kiss.
I chewed my bottom lip as I studied the lines and decided I had come up with the shittiest combination of words known to the English language. And Piano Man exists, so that was saying a lot.