The Code for Love and Heartbreak - Jillian Cantor Page 0,63
much as I’m not dying to go see the Christmas lights, it’s not a terrible idea. But Izzy took the car to go with John, and they already left without me. Dad went to have dinner with an old college friend who’s in town. I tell Jane I can’t go because I have no way to get there, and I feel relief that I still have an excuse, a way out of it. Because the thought of the crowds and the lights, and watching George and Hannah holding hands—or kissing—sounds awful to me.
“It’s no problem at all,” she says. “I’ll pick you up in an hour.” And then she disconnects from FaceTime before I have a chance to say anything else.
Chapter 22
Izzy spots me the moment Jane and I walk up to the lights display entrance, like she has some kind of weird radar that allows her to hone in on me, wherever I go.
I haven’t been to see the lights here since we were kids, and Dad used to take us, and all I remember is that there are displays surrounding the entire outside of the mall parking lot—cartoon characters, and Christmas trees, and reindeer, all made out of Christmas lights. There’s some school choir caroling tonight, too, singing “Silent Night” a little off-key as we approach. It’s a pretty mild night for December, but it’s overly bright and too loud out here, and it smells so strongly of pine and cinnamon I sneeze.
“Em!” Izzy shouts, and waves for me to join her and John, who are standing in front of the tall, lit-up tree, perhaps unsurprisingly with George and Hannah. George turns at the sound of my name, and shoots me a confused glance.
“Oh, hey! Emma’s here,” Hannah calls out, causing Izzy to whip around with surprise, like she can’t believe someone else would actually notice my presence, aside from her. I sigh and walk toward them, Jane following close behind me.
“I thought you had to study?” Izzy lets go of John, grabs me in a half hug.
“I’ll study later,” I say, noncommittal. Izzy frowns, knowing this is not like me. Or not like the Emma she used to know last year, anyway.
“Who’s this?” she asks, taking in Jane’s lab coat and arching her eyebrows a little.
“This is my friend Jane, from coding club,” I say. “We’re going to walk around. We’ll catch up with you later.”
I grab Jane’s arm and walk to the other side of the crowd, practically dragging her, as much to get away from Izzy’s questions as from George’s weird stare. I suppose we could’ve asked Hannah and George to help us gather data, but they’re here on a date. I noticed they were holding hands, both smiling. They’re the exact kind of data we’re hoping to collect. And maybe Jane is right. Maybe they really are good together. Only more proof my algorithm is working, so I’m not sure why that thought bothers me so much.
“You’re lucky to have a sister,” Jane is saying now as we walk. “I hate being an only child.”
“Yeah, I know. I am lucky.” I suddenly feel a little bad I wasn’t nicer back there with Izzy. “But Iz and I are so different, and I guess I just kind of got used to being by myself more when she was away at college this fall.”
“I get that,” Jane says. “I remember her last year at school. She was on the dance team and the lead in Hello, Dolly!, wasn’t she?”
“Yep,” I say. “She’s super talented and awesome, and has always had a ton of friends.”
“Ugh,” Jane says. “Gross.” She laughs, and I know she’s kidding. Kind of. “Seriously, though, I don’t get people who feel like they belong in high school. You’re lucky,” she says again, sounding a little more bitter this time. “Six months and you’re done. You’ll be off in Palo Alto next year.”
“Maybe,” I say. The closer it gets to the application due date, the more I think about the math, the small percentage of people who apply to Stanford who actually get in. And the more I doubt that I might be one of those people. I’m also applying for a scholarship Ms. Taylor recently found for me at Carnegie Mellon, which she thinks I have a better shot at. And I’m applying to Rutgers and Penn State as backup schools. “I’ll be in Palo Alto, if I get accepted,” I say to Jane now.