"I don't know what my problem is," I confessed in a pained whisper. "I don't understand why this is happening with you. It's not the sex. It's—"
"It's me," he agreed. "Do you want to stop?"
I shook my head firmly. "Fuck no." I swallowed hard. "No. It's... God, this is infuriating. It's you... but not you. This doesn't make any fucking sense. I'm sorry."
Zed gave a soft growl of warning and placed a gentle kiss on my jaw. "What did I tell you about apologizing? Tell me what I can do. What eased the fear just before?"
I rapidly thought it through. That first flash of fear... what had eased it off? It’d been Zed. It was always Zed. I just needed to stay present with Zed and not give Chase or my trauma any space between us. I haltingly told him as much, feeling all kinds of broken, but he just took it in with a calm nod.
"Let's try this," he murmured. He reached over past my head and flicked the bedside lamp on, filling the room with light. Then he propped his head up on his hand right beside my head. "Better?"
My lips parted, confused, but then I realized what he was doing. I needed to stay in the moment with Zed, so he’d turned the lights on and eliminated the darkness and shadows from the room. So when he leaned in to kiss me again, there was absolutely no mistaking that it was Zed.
"Yes," I sighed between kisses. "It's better."
"Thank fuck," he replied with a pained laugh. "Can I...?"
"Please do," I said, rocking my hips to give him permission to move once more. I had to commend his control for remaining balls deep inside me while talking me through the start of a fucking panic attack.
Still, he took his time kissing me as he shifted his weight once more and started out slow, moving between my legs with shallow strokes. With the lights on, I could see the tension in his brow and the worry in his eyes, and it soothed my monsters. Zed would never hurt me like Chase had, and he wasn't to blame for the outcome of our first kiss. I needed to break through that wall once and for all, and this... this was the perfect sledgehammer.
"Zed," I moaned, arching my back and tilting my hips to feel him deeper. "Fuck me properly; I won't break."
He huffed a breathless laugh, kissing my neck. "I know you won't. You're harder than diamonds and a hundred times more beautiful."
Oh shit. My heart almost leapt straight out of my chest and into the palm of his hand. "Zed..." I pleaded. My pussy was throbbing and desperate, not giving a fuck that we'd been working through some major psychological damage.
"Yes, boss," he chuckled, picking up the pace and slamming his hips into mine with a little more force. His gaze held me as he worked, barely even blinking as he kept my attention captive. "More?"
I jerked a hasty nod, and he grinned.
"Alright. Stay with me, baby." He winked, then hooked his hands under my thighs to force my legs wider apart and my knees almost up around my elbows. He changed his position subtly, and then he started fucking me for real. My chest heaved with labored breathing as he slammed into me, over and over. Every time my mind started to slip away—and it did, more times than I could count—he was there, meeting my eyes, reassuring me that I was safe. Fucking hell, it worked too.
When my cunt started tightening and my core filled with that rapidly building euphoria, I grabbed onto his neck, bringing his lips back to mine so I could kiss him as I came. And holy crap, did I come. Zed swallowed my screams greedily, his cock striking me deep and hitting the perfect place to prolong my orgasm like nothing I'd ever felt before.
He waited until I was done—and I wasn't even remotely quick—before he finished off himself with a couple of hard thrusts. It only sparked the need in me for more, and I found myself writhing under him as he came, panting and groaning.
"Holy shit, Dare," he said with a laugh when my hips continued moving. "Hold on, baby, I've got you."
With that sinful promise, he slid down the bed, hooked my legs over his shoulders, and dove face first into my pulsing cunt. He didn't even flinch at the fact that his own cum was